Day 300 signs...lost in translation

China is freakin' hilarious sometimes.  I swear I have smiled and laughed more in the last 10 months of my life than I remember in quite some time.  When you throw yourself headfirst in to a new country and a new culture that you can't begin to understand, you MUST have a sense of humor.  It is simply a matter of survival; surviving the China.  As is commonly the talk in the cafeteria, or on our various outings, we trade funny stories of the signs and tshirts that make no sense to us.  The Chinglish here is something else. I have laughed so hard I've cried....like back in the early days of finding one "slightly fried squeak" and "fried enema" on a Chinese menu.  Oh, China, you slay me.  

Well, some of us started a thread email and wechats where we'd post the latest photo that just didn't quite make the translation.  If anything, the China loves her signs.

Like this one at school "Don't stick your finger where it
doesn't belong" (in the elevator door).

There were some guests musicians performing at our school
early in the year.  This sign hung in the front foyer of the
school for weeks "All of us will pleasure you coming!!"
That Chinglish scored two exclamation points :)
I wonder if the concert was really that good?

"The green grass at the foot of the benefit."
Please keep off the grass. maybe?!

This was found online by one of my colleagues.
I like China's reverse psychology!

Len and I saw this one last week in Tianjin.
Sadly, I didn't get it at first...ice cubes in a
leaning glass?!  Ohhhhh....'don't drink and drive'.
Now what made this so funny was because it was
hanging the wrong way on a one way street. Oh, China.

And if you happen to drink too much, 'slip and fall
down carefully.'  The Chinese are the nicest people :)

  

ummmm, or maybe not.

A sign like that would stop me dead in my tracks.
Whew, that was a close call!

I never was a big fan of fresh crap- or any crap,
for that matter :/  Keep your crap to yourself, please.

Ok, no need to be nasty about it.

More politeness in an attempt to say 'keep off the grass!'

There are many signs about the placement
of your feet in China, but this one in Qingdao
made zero sense... "The flowers with one foot".
The statue had two feet, and she wasn't holding
a flower. I also could not find any monopodded
posies anywhere in the park.  Zero sense.

I understand how the whole concept of homonyms can be tricky
in the English language.  No trickier than saying the same two letter
 word in Mandarin, by using the four different tones, can produce four
completely unrelated words!  What I cannot understand is how this
banner appeared at the BNDS graduation last week... I mean, really?
We have over seventy international teachers on staff and it never
 occurred to somebody that someone, somewhere, should do some
proofreading first?! It makes you wonder if that Chinese tattoo you
got on your hip really is the Mandarin characters for "Peace, Love,
and Happiness"  How do you know it doesn't say, "Eat at Wongs"?

Maybe it's all a superlative conspiracy.
That's it; I'm sure of it.

  

That's the only plausible explanation for
this shirt we saw in Tianjin.  I think the
designer has decided to make fun of us
making fun of their Chinglish.  Kind of like
the 'American parties' thrown by the Chinese-
they play beer pong, wear plaid shirts, sling
Budweisers from red solo cups, and such...smh

Sometimes just one misplaced letter takes
on a whole new meaning.  This was the sign
in the waiting area of the utility company today.
I did my best to be very, very quite.

When Len and I stepped off the Tianjin Eye last weekend,
we were not in the mood for some French lemon treat.

Interestingly, the other side of the same kiosk had it right!
Still, we didn't know what a Lemon Exchange was...
unless they meant a lemon shake-up?  It's possible.

This was painted on the side of a cafe wall.
I didn't know Jesus turned the water into a keg o' beer!

While the placement of one letter can make all
the difference....(a woman in our complex wears
an "ACNE" shirt in bold letters across the chest)
sometimes there is an entire prose of misplaced words.
You tell me what it means....
"Out beyond idea of worry doing and right
doing there is a field I will meet you there."

I'm supposed to meet you where?!  

Could you just drop a pin for me, please?! :)

G'nite, y'all!