Friday, May 29th was the last day for our BNDS seniors. They were released to return to their families for some much needed rest, and they will come back for graduation on June 19th. After that, they are headed to some of the most competitive universities the United States has to offer. I worry about my Chinese babies and their ability to adapt to Western life. So much is riding on their success in the US, quite literally.
It is one of the major downsides to the One Child Policy, which was modified in 2014. Both sets of grandparents and the parents are all 'banking' on their one child to get the very best education from their 'dream school.' It takes six adults pooling their financial resources together for their one child to attend the best of the best. In turn, the child is expected to return to the family and support them in their later years. I had an interesting conversation with my doctor last week about the trials and tribulations of living with your parents and in-laws when you are a grown married woman with a child of your own...except that nothing is your 'own', not your home (the parents pay for it) or your child (the grandparents assume much of the care in raising your only child). As such, these kids (and adults) feel a tremendous burden of responsibility to respect and be obedient to the adults in their life. Likewise, many of these kids' career choices have already been decided for them. And in some of the more traditional families, their spouse will one day be decided for them, too- only after they make a success of their life first. It's a different culture, for sure.
For my last day with seniors, I had a few special things planned for them. I wanted to share with them an excerpt from Randy Pausch's "The Last Lecture." If you have not seen this Last Lecture in its entirety (it's a little over an hour long), you should do yourself the favor and You Tube it. While he was a highly respected and tenured professor at Carnegie Mellon University, his personal story and pearls of wisdom are powerful for any age audience. This was a shortened version of the Last Lecture which appeared on Oprah. Please watch :)
Just a few months before his death, he was asked by the
graduating class to give the commencement address. His
words seemed an appropriate send off to my own students.
After they watched these two video clips, I shared my own words of wisdom. I related my coming to China, and all the changes that laid in store for me, to the changes they are about to experience in my home country. I shared some funny stories of my early days here, and how my senses were overwhelmed at first. They, too, will feel the same in a few short months. Then I presented them with a gift....
I had help from one of my Chinese colleagues to procure twenty two copies of Dr. Suess' Oh, The Places You'll Go! I introduced the kids to Dr. Suess back at Christmas time when we watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas and we 'diagnosed' him. They loved his rhyming prose. So, I got the names of the universities my students will be headed to in August from the Counseling Center, and I wrote a personal message in each book and gift wrapped them. These kids have blessed my life immensely this year, and I wanted to do something special for them. They have truly been remarkable, in every way possible.
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| Me and Miss Sunny Sun, who, with the permission of her parents, will be studying psychology at a Massachusetts university ;) So proud of her! |
While the seniors opened their gifts, and read the
messages I had written for them inside, I then played
a 'read aloud version' of Oh, The Places You'll Go.
Seeing these 18 year old kids, holding their own books,
and turning the pages with the narrator, is an image I will
never forget. So childlike in following the words on each
page, yet they are now well on their way to adulthood.
It was beautiful, y'all. I couldn't help but tear up.
At the end of the story, I had each of the kids take out a sheet of paper, for their final assignment. I wanted them to write just one 'take away' from their experience with me, or something they learned from having taken AP Psychology, a subject still very foreign and often misunderstood in their culture. Their responses ranged from poignant to sassy to honestly beautiful...here are a few...
"Wherever I am, whatever I am doing, I will do things happily and passionately like Mrs. McDaniel."
"We learned it is okay to not be perfect, because perfect can be boring. We can make mistakes and it is okay, because like Mrs. McDaniel taught us, those mistakes are just a part of learning to be better."
"My take away is Mrs. McDaniel is very anal, and I did not know what that was before, but I see I am anal, too! (This one cracked me up!)
"I hope I can be as humanistic as Mrs. McDaniel. She taught us what it means to have unconditional positive regard. She explains we have our own free will to make choices and do what we want, but with that free will comes great responsibility to hurt or help others by our words and actions."
"My one great take away is that it is okay for me to be myself, not what others expect of me. I can pursue my dreams because they are MINE."
"My one take away is the positive attitude and passion of Mrs. McDaniel. And I like her dresses. But one thing, Could you maybe give students copies of your lecture notes so we don't have to write so much?! I like hearing your stories and then I forget to write." (LOL, point taken, but my college students have been asking me for my lecture notes for years....I likely will not be giving in! It's one way I am sure to keep y'all engaged!!!)
"In my family, in my community, no one lives their lives as you do. You pursue your dreams despite all obstacles. You treat everyone you meet genuinely. You have taught me I can do the same. I do not have to be afraid, or quiet, and I can have dreams, too. I could be a therapist! I could be a neuro-psychologist! I can do research! You are the one who gives me faith that I am capable for all of these things and more. Please don't forget me when I leave for UCLA. I will never forget you."
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| Thank you, my BNDS China girls, Akaisha and Brianna, while you shared with me some 'life lessons' I taught you this year, I promise you, I was often the learner here. You kids were my teachers. I will never forget you, or this year. |
God bless you all in the coming years :)
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