Of course I knew this day was looming all week long. I got email reminders from FTD and Sheri's Berries to place my birthday order for her. It's not that I needed reminded of February 25th. I always tried to make my momma's birthday a special celebration, which usually involved me cooking for her, or enjoying a special meal out. Since I have been in Beijing, it involved her favorite flowers from FTD and chocolate covered strawberries.
This is the first year, in I don't know how many years, that I didn't do any of those things.
Instead, I took a very long walk in Beijing with my face to the sun. I thought, I smiled, I reflected, I prayed, I got tearful, and as I passed a street vendor selling a cart full of fresh strawberries, a plan started formulating in my mind.
I knew what I needed to do.
I needed to celebrate my momma's birthday today.
So I went to the grocery.
I went to the flower shop.
I bought strawberries from the street vendor.
And I came home and spent the next two and a half hours pouring through old files of photos of my Momma on my laptop.
I indulged myself.
I took most of the photos from the years that Donnie and I spent our winters on Marquesa in the Florida Keys. She loved Florida- especially the warm Florida sunshine. "It feels so healing", she would say. But she loved the beach, the ocean, the sailboat, eating coconut shrimp, or having a pina colada or mango mania cold drink poolside, while playing chickenfoot dominoes with family and friends, too. For the four years I spent the winters in the Keys on the sailboat, Momma would fly down in February over her birthday and join us, all except for the first year.
My momma was so happy for me when I bought my 'retirement home' in Florida with Len a year ago last May. She gave me several antiques, her "Florida room furniture', and other treasures for me to "have a piece of her" in my new home. When I was home, JUST LAST WEEK, I sincerely felt her presence all around me in our home- in the most beautiful way.
She was a gracious, giving, and eternally loving Momma...
...and I miss her terribly.
Try as I might, I did not want to be sad today. I wanted to celebrate her, and her day, as we used to do...so I started with a trip down memory lane.
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| I took Momma on her first ever trip to Key West for the day, on her first year down in the Keys with me. She loved the hop on/hop off trolley, to see all of the historical homes and beautiful landscaping. She used to be a realtor, and we loved to go for drives and look at houses. We would redecorate them, plant flowers, and make up stories about who lived there. It's a game we loved to play. |
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| She laughed at my disdain for all the roosters in Key West! "Oh, Karyn!", she'd say. |
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| Mom was living large this night out to dinner. I was sneaking in to her Mai Tai. This is one of my favorite pics :) |
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| Mom's first trip to Florida, February 2012, was our second winter on Marquesa. I made her bring her new laptop she got for Christmas. I was blogging our sailing adventures, and I was taking her to school on setting up a facebook account where she could see the links to Sailboats and Kitty Litter. marquesa34.blogspot.com |
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| Each day I would have her practice logging on...she was a trooper, and she really did try, but her memory wasn't so hot! |
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| She loved the sailboat, and being on the water. I come by it honestly...from my Grandma and my momma. |
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| On a dinghy ride, she got the thrill of a lifetime when this momma and baby dolphin popped up right beside us! |
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| Momma loved kitties- Willis T the Sailor Cat, and her own orange tabby named Sammy. My brother, Kent, and his wife, Kathy, have Sammy now. |
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| Any day on the water is a VERY GOOD DAY! Cheers to that!! |
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| One birthday dinner was celebrated at Sunset Grille in Marathon. She LOVED coconut shrimp. |
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| My momma had the most beautiful blue eyes. |
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| Special dinners out to eat always included a pina colada :) |
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| This was my momma's Happy 78th Birthday! |
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| On another trip to the Keys, we went to Big Pine Key to No Name Pub for pizza....and then we drove around looking for the wee little Key deer. My momma kept binoculars on her dining room table in Middletown to watch for deer across the field. I think she must have called me every time she saw one! My brother, my daughters, and I all get the same thrill whenever we see a deer :) This was from the year that Emily traveled with her. |
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| The Pig Races are an annual event in Marathon, FL, and it usually fell around her birthday. That year she was in the winner's circle! |
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| I took her to the Dolphin Research Center, where I was a member. We feel about dolphins like we feel about deer :) |
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| We played hours and hours of chicken foot dominoes around the pool with friends and family at Banana Bay Marina. She was thrilled to go 'OUT!' |
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| We Kiester women are sun worshippers! |
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| Another year, Momma was too anxious to fly alone, so Grandma paid for Ellie to travel with her. My friend Stephanie flew to Indiana from her home in New Mexico, to babysit my dog, Simon, and Mom's cat, Sammy. We coordinated flights, and when Stephanie flew in from Indiana to Key West, within the next hour, Ellie and Momma were flying out of Key West to Indiana. It was one of my best logistical travel feats EVER. |
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| We ladies had a spa day with mani's and pedi's and we got my momma a sassy new haircut! |
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| We needed pretty nails for the beach. |
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| The next year, Grandma paid for Emily to be her travel companion, so that she could come to Florida once more. We went to an art gallery and boutique in Islamorada that had the most beautiful tropical gardens. Momma had to walk around to see all the plants and flowers. Emily, do you remember that this photo was taken right before Grandma ShooHoo fell into the cactus? We picked about a dozen spines out of her leg with your tweezers! |
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| We went out to dinner and danced. My momma LOVED to dance....another thing I come by honest from both my Grandma and her :) |
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| Grandma ShooHoo loved her granddaughters. So much. <3 |
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| Sweet memories :) |
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| Emily was so good with Grandma. She has such a sweet, tender- hearted spirit, just like her Grandma. When Emily left Florida, she left a note by Grandma's bedside thanking her for the trip. Momma treasured that love note from her granddaughter. We girls found it tucked in a special scrapbook when we were home for her funeral this last September. <3 <3 <3 |
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| More FL photos I found of me and my momma.... |
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| ...my heart overflows <3 |
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| The year Emily came down was momma's 79th birthday :) Happy 79th Birthday, Momma! |
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| Our first winter on Marquesa was in 2011, and Mom had an unexpected heart procedure done to correct an arrhythmia. I flew home to be with her in the hospital and to help her settle in when she got home. It fell on her 77th birthday. Happy 77th Birthday, Momma! |
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| Ellie came home from Purdue to see her Grandma. The calico is Candy. First she had Tommy, then Candy, then Sammy. We lovingly called my momma "the crazy cat lady". |
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| Momma's last trip to Florida was in 2014. We went to Sunset Key, an extra special island off of Key West with a whole group of family and friends to celebrate her 80th birthday. She was so happy that day- we took a boat ride out to the island and she was in awe of the resort! |
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| She had won Adolph Von Chickenfoot playing dominoes with the 'gang', and he came along in her purse for the birthday luncheon. It began with a celebratory pina colada, of course! |
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| She was so surprised at the cake we had for her. |
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| It had her favorite, cream cheese frosting. Happy 80th Birthday, Momma! |
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| And that brings me to today, what would have been my Momma's 83rd birthday. On my walk today, I thought about all of her favorite things. I went to the grocery, and when I saw this deli meat, I had to buy it (though I was scared- this is China deli meat, after all!). Mom's favorite sandwich for lunch was pickle loaf, on bread with butter. She called it "Christmas tree meat" as a child, and the name stuck in our family. |
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| Momma's favorite flower was the star gazer lily, which Kent ordered for her casket. I remembered the FTD email alert I received earlier in the week, so I knew what I had to do... |
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| I went to the flower shop near my apartment and bought her star gazer lillies. I got her favorite drink, green tea. (She drank GALLONS of the stuff!) And though I couldn't order any chocolate covered strawberries from Sheri's Berries for her this year, I stopped by the street vendor and bought some. I came home and made some chocolate pudding to dip the berries in. I found a sack of photos and cards that were sitting by my Momma's chair from her apartment that I brought back with me to China when I was home for her funeral in September. Then, I lit a candle for her. I have lit candles for my father, grandfather, and grandmother, in churches and cathedrals and temples in my travels all over the world. Tonight I sat down to Momma's birthday dinner, and I lit a candle with three wicks. As I lit them, I told her I loved her then, I love her now, and I will love her forever. |
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| Then I ate the Christmas tree meat sandwich for dinner, and I looked at her treasured photos and cards. The sack held all the postcards and photos I have mailed to her from all over the world these last three years abroad. It also contained her birthday cards from us last year. I had no idea those were in there. This was Momma's 82nd birthday card from my brother, Kent, and Kathy. It was a perfect find <3 |
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| This was last year's Mother's Day card from her granddaughter, Emily. |
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| Then I found my birthday card to Momma for her birthday last year...oh, how I wish I could pick up the phone and hear her voice one more time. |
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| I closed with, "Very simply, you are the best Mom. Thank you for loving me. I love you always, no matter where I am in the world." I know she loves me, though she is no longer in this world. |
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| I found this written on one of the first photos of Len and I. I was in the throws of divorce and ate up with guilt and shame at the time. My momma loved me through it. |
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| I looked up from my empty dinner plate, just as the sun was setting in Beijing. And I thanked my Momma one more time, for being the best Momma ever. She was the very best. |
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| I purposely saved the best for last. My brother, Kent, found this letter in Mom's papers after she died. He had mailed it to my home in Florida, and Len gave it to me the first night I was home for Chinese New Year just last month. My Momma knew then, and she knows now, how to give her love eternally. I am happy for my Momma today. She is right where she wanted to be. I am just sad for me that she is no longer here. |
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| Happy 83rd Birthday, my sweet, sweet Momma <3 |
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