Day 923 Touring in my hometown!

I had a Sunday breakfast date with my friend Deanna at the
NEW Dunkin Donuts that opened up over the winter break
 at Yonganli by the Silk Street Market.  There is no better
place for some girl time, than over coffee and Dunkin Donuts
(which were still China-style donuts, but surprisingly tasty!)

Beyond the pollution, the cold, long winters in Beijing, the spitting and squatting, the language barrier, and anything else you may want to throw in with the list of complaints about The Chinese Way, BAR NONE, the most difficult and challenging part of living abroad is when bad things happen back at home, 

and you are not there for it.  

It is a crippling grief to lose a significant friend or family member when you are so far from home.

How well I know.  

Now my friend, Deanna, is in the same boat, as she unexpectedly lost her father over CNY.  I am so happy for her that she was able to fly home to New York before CNY, to spend some much needed time with him when his health became critical.  I am sad for her, that she was not able to be with him when his time on this Earth came.  I am sad for her, too, that she was not with her friends and family 'back home' in the early days that followed his passing.  There is safety and comfort in numbers, particularly in grief, and it is so difficult to navigate all of the memories and emotions, the good and the bad, without the company of your close friends and family members around you, who are all in the same boat as you.  

I SO GET IT.  

Losing Mom unexpectedly this past September, and finding my way through the messiness of grief and recovery has damn near taken me down, seriously down, on multiple occasions.  

I wanted to Deanna to know, in as best as I am able, I understand. 

And here, have another donut.  :) 

While Deanna has the good fortune of having her husband and son with her here in Beijing, I was surprised when I started naming off places to go and things to do for the afternoon, to which she responded with, "I haven't been there yet.  No, we haven't done that either."  My response was "Guuuuuuurrrrrrlllll, it is time for you to be a tourist in your own hometown-  Starting today!"

So we did.

Fortified with donuts, coffee, and full water bottles, we first headed toward Tiananmen Square and Forbidden City.  As we popped up from the subway, I pointed out the National Theater (the Egg), the Great Hall of the People, the National Museum, and the War Memorial statue at the center of Tsquare.  I was going to take her to meet Mao and his portrait at the South Gate of Forbidden City, but the pedestrian traffic was NUTS.  It was a glorious blue sky Sunday morning, with spring like weather, and everyone seemed to be taking advantage of the warmer temperatures to visit FC.  

Instead, we made a detour, walked along the walled border of Forbidden City, past the West Gate of the Imperial Museum, and around the moat to the North Gate.  From there, we crossed the street to Jingshan Park, and paid all of 2rmb (that's thirty cents) for a glorious afternoon in the park! 

It was a beautiful walk around the moat.  I have never seen the
water so clear.  How about those watch towers???

You can imagine what it must have been like
centuries ago, when it was a walled city.
Now the Forbidden City is home to about
900 empty buildings and the Imperial Museum.

Dancing in the park is the norm in China,
no music is really necessary!

Our destination was the temple at the top of Jingshan hill.

Here you get the best views of Forbidden City.  You can
also see the Egg (the National Theater) to the right.

Another view of the moat and watch tower.

As I was enjoying the 360 degree views of the city,
I caught this guy pointing his camera my way, lol.

It was the perfect day to take in Beijing!  This is the Beihai
lakes area, with the White Pagoda to the left.
The air was clear enough to see the mountains, too!

I snapped a photo of the photographer :)

A sneaky peek in to the temple- no photos allowed.

Gorgeous architecture- see the Chinese dragons?

Selfie- with the Forbidden City behind us- just like tourists!

panoramic view

Momma was giving this little Chinese nugget a history lesson :)

We decided to hike down the back side of the hill.

I'm glad we did, because I saw a 'first' today, and
I have been to this park many, many times. This was
the site where Emperor Chongzhen, in the 17th
year of his reign, had the Forbidden City fortress
invaded in a peasant uprising led by Li Zicheng.
The Emperor escaped out the back, ran in to
Jingshan park and hung himself.  This is not the
same tree, but another that was planted in it's place.

True to being tourists, we bought refrigerator magnets, I got
a unique city map as a keepsake, and we bought this popular
street food.  You can get any variety of fruit, that has been
dipped in a sticky sugary coating. It's kind of like candied
apples, only different. Deanna had strawberries, and I
had oranges and kiwis. They were messy, but soooo tasty!

It was a lovely afternoon, in the presence of a wonderful woman.
After we bid our goodbyes, I returned to my apartment complex,
but I wasn't ready to leave the sunshine just yet. I sandwiched
myself between the old folks, listening to them chittering
about their grandbabies, ailments, and what to eat for dinner.
(I'm only guessing; I don't speak Chinese!)

It really didn't matter what they were saying.
With my face to the sun, I was the happiest girl in China :)


G'nite, y'all!

Day 922 Happy 83rd Birthday, Momma!

I woke up feeling a little melancholy today, even though I threw back my curtains to a gorgeous blue sky clean air day in Beijing.  As I watched the sunrise shining on the skyscrapers out my window, I reflected on the fact I have been living in Beijing 922 days (crazy) and it is my momma's 83rd birthday, and her first birthday in heaven.

Of course I knew this day was looming all week long.  I got email reminders from FTD and Sheri's Berries to place my birthday order for her.  It's not that I needed reminded of February 25th. I always tried to make my momma's birthday a special celebration, which usually involved me cooking for her, or enjoying a special meal out. Since I have been in Beijing, it involved her favorite flowers from FTD and chocolate covered strawberries.

This is the first year, in I don't know how many years, that I didn't do any of those things.

Instead, I took a very long walk in Beijing with my face to the sun.  I thought, I smiled, I reflected, I prayed, I got tearful, and as I passed a street vendor selling a cart full of fresh strawberries, a plan started formulating in my mind.

I knew what I needed to do.

I needed to celebrate my momma's birthday today.

So I went to the grocery.

I went to the flower shop.

I bought strawberries from the street vendor.

And I came home and spent the next two and a half hours pouring through old files of photos of my Momma on my laptop.

I indulged myself.

I took most of the photos from the years that Donnie and I spent our winters on Marquesa in the Florida Keys.  She loved Florida- especially the warm Florida sunshine. "It feels so healing", she would say. But she loved the beach, the ocean, the sailboat, eating coconut shrimp, or having a pina colada or mango mania cold drink poolside, while playing chickenfoot dominoes with family and friends, too. For the four years I spent the winters in the Keys on the sailboat, Momma would fly down in February over her birthday and join us, all except for the first year.

My momma was so happy for me when I bought my 'retirement home' in Florida with Len a year ago last May.  She gave me several antiques, her "Florida room furniture', and other treasures for me to "have a piece of her" in my new home.  When I was home, JUST LAST WEEK, I sincerely felt her presence all around me in our home- in the most beautiful way.

She was a gracious, giving, and eternally loving Momma...

...and I miss her terribly.

Try as I might, I did not want to be sad today.  I wanted to celebrate her, and her day, as we used to do...so I started with a trip down memory lane.

I took Momma on her first ever trip to Key West for
the day, on her first year down in the Keys with me.
She loved the hop on/hop off trolley, to see all
of the historical homes and beautiful landscaping.
She used to be a realtor, and we loved to go for
drives and look at houses.  We would redecorate
them, plant flowers, and make up stories about
 who lived there. It's a game we loved to play.

She laughed at my disdain for all the roosters
in Key West!  "Oh, Karyn!", she'd say.

Mom was living large this night out to dinner. I was
sneaking in to her Mai Tai.  This is one of my favorite pics :)

Mom's first trip to Florida, February 2012, was our second winter
 on Marquesa. I made her bring her new laptop she got for Christmas.
I was blogging our sailing adventures, and I was taking her to school
on setting up a facebook account where she could see the links to
 Sailboats and Kitty Litter.   marquesa34.blogspot.com

Each day I would have her practice logging on...she was a
trooper, and she really did try, but her memory wasn't so hot!

She loved the sailboat, and being on the water.  I come by
it honestly...from my Grandma and my momma.

On a dinghy ride, she got the thrill of a lifetime when this
momma and baby dolphin popped up right beside us!

Momma loved kitties- Willis T the Sailor Cat, and
her own orange tabby named Sammy. My brother,
Kent, and his wife, Kathy, have Sammy now.

Any day on the water is a VERY GOOD DAY! Cheers to that!!

One birthday dinner was celebrated at Sunset Grille in Marathon.
She LOVED coconut shrimp.

My momma had the most beautiful blue eyes.

Special dinners out to eat always included a pina colada :)

This was my momma's Happy 78th Birthday!

On another trip to the Keys, we went to Big Pine
Key to No Name Pub for pizza....and then we
drove around looking for the wee little Key deer.
My momma kept binoculars on her dining room
table in Middletown to watch for deer across
the field. I think she must have called me every time
she saw one!  My brother, my daughters, and I all
get the same thrill whenever we see a deer :)
This was from the year that Emily traveled with her.

The Pig Races are an annual event in Marathon, FL, and it usually
fell around her birthday.  That year she was in the winner's circle!

I took her to the Dolphin Research Center, where I was a
member.  We feel about dolphins like we feel about deer :)

We played hours and hours of chicken foot
dominoes around the pool with friends and family
at Banana Bay Marina. She was thrilled to go 'OUT!'

We Kiester women are sun worshippers!

Another year, Momma was too anxious to fly alone, so Grandma paid
for Ellie to travel with her.  My friend Stephanie flew to Indiana from her
home in New Mexico, to babysit my dog, Simon, and Mom's cat, Sammy.
We coordinated flights, and when Stephanie flew in from Indiana to 
Key West, within the next hour, Ellie and Momma were flying out of
Key West to Indiana.  It was one of my best logistical travel feats EVER.

We ladies had a spa day with mani's and pedi's and we
got my momma a sassy new haircut!

We needed pretty nails for the beach.

The next year, Grandma paid for Emily to be her travel companion,
so that she could come to Florida once more.  We went to an art
gallery and boutique in Islamorada that had the most beautiful
tropical gardens.  Momma had to walk around to see all the
plants and flowers.  Emily, do you remember that this photo
was taken right before Grandma ShooHoo fell into the cactus?
We picked about a dozen spines out of her leg with your tweezers!

We went out to dinner and danced.  My momma
LOVED to dance....another thing I come by
honest from both my Grandma and her :)

Grandma ShooHoo loved her granddaughters. So much. <3

Sweet memories :)

Emily was so good with Grandma.  She has such a sweet, tender-
hearted spirit, just like her Grandma.  When Emily left Florida,
she left a note by Grandma's bedside thanking her for the trip.
Momma treasured that love note from her granddaughter.
We girls found it tucked in a special scrapbook when we
were home for her funeral this last September. <3 <3 <3

More FL photos I found of me and my momma....

...my heart overflows <3

The year Emily came down was momma's 79th birthday :)
Happy 79th Birthday, Momma!

Our first winter on Marquesa was in 2011, and Mom
 had an unexpected heart procedure done to
correct an arrhythmia.  I flew home to be with her
in the hospital and to help her settle in when she
got home.  It fell on her 77th birthday.
Happy 77th Birthday, Momma! 

Ellie came home from Purdue to see her Grandma.  The calico
 is Candy.  First she had Tommy, then Candy, then Sammy.
We lovingly called my momma "the crazy cat lady".

Momma's last trip to Florida was in 2014. We
went to Sunset Key, an extra special island
off of Key West with a whole group of family
and friends to celebrate her 80th birthday.
She was so happy that day- we took a boat ride
out to the island and she was in awe of the resort!

She had won Adolph Von Chickenfoot playing
dominoes with the 'gang', and he came along in
her purse for the birthday luncheon. It began with
 a celebratory pina colada, of course!

She was so surprised at the cake we had for her.

It had her favorite, cream cheese frosting.
Happy 80th Birthday, Momma!

And that brings me to today, what would have
been my Momma's 83rd birthday.  On my walk
today, I thought about all of her favorite things.
I went to the grocery, and when I saw this deli
meat, I had to buy it (though I was scared- this
is China deli meat, after all!).  Mom's favorite
sandwich for lunch was pickle loaf, on bread
with butter. She called it "Christmas tree meat"
as a child, and the name stuck in our family.

Momma's favorite flower was the star gazer lily, which Kent
ordered for her casket.  I remembered the FTD email alert I
received earlier in the week, so I knew what I had to do...

I went to the flower shop near my apartment and
bought her star gazer lillies.  I got her favorite drink,
green tea. (She drank GALLONS of the stuff!)
And though I couldn't order any chocolate covered
strawberries from Sheri's Berries for her this year,
I stopped by the street vendor and bought some.
I came home and made some chocolate pudding
to dip the berries in.  I found a sack of photos and
cards that were sitting by my Momma's chair from
her apartment that I brought back with me to China
when I was home for her funeral in September. Then,
I lit a candle for her.  I have lit candles for my
father, grandfather, and grandmother, in churches
and cathedrals and temples in my travels all over
the world.  Tonight I sat down to Momma's
birthday dinner, and I lit a candle with three wicks.
As I lit them, I told her I loved her then, I love
her now, and I will love her forever.

Then I ate the Christmas tree meat sandwich
for dinner, and I looked at her treasured photos
and cards.  The sack held all the postcards and photos
I have mailed to her from all over the world these last
 three years abroad. It also contained her birthday cards
 from us last year.  I had no idea those were in there.
  This was Momma's 82nd birthday card from my
brother, Kent, and Kathy. It was a perfect find <3

This was last year's Mother's Day card from her granddaughter, Emily.

Then I found my birthday card to Momma for her
birthday last year...oh, how I wish I could pick
up the phone and hear her voice one more time.

I closed with, "Very simply, you are the best Mom. Thank you
for loving me.  I love you always, no matter where I am in the world."
 I know she loves me, though she is no longer in this world.

I found this written on one of the first photos of Len and I.
I was in the throws of divorce and ate up with guilt
and shame at the time.  My momma loved me through it.

I looked up from my empty dinner plate, just as the sun
was setting in Beijing.  And I thanked my Momma one more
time, for being the best Momma ever. She was the very best.

I purposely saved the best for last.  My brother, Kent, found this letter in
Mom's papers after she died.  He had mailed it to my home in Florida,
and Len gave it to me the first night I was home for Chinese New Year
just last month.  My Momma knew then, and she knows now, how to
give her love eternally.  I am happy for my Momma today.  She is right
where she wanted to be.  I am just sad for me that she is no longer here.

Happy 83rd Birthday, my sweet, sweet Momma <3