Day 827 What you sow, you shall also reap

I continue to have my daily ups and downs. Working through this season of my life so far from home and essentially doing it alone, has been, well...very lonely.

It's not that I am not surrounded by lovely people, awesome colleagues, tremendous students, and a wonderful, caring administration. Heck, the Chinese people, by and large, are exceptionally friendly and helpful.  The struggle is always the getting from here to there.  Not two weeks ago I could feel myself sinking to a true clinical depression.  As a clinician, I know the symptoms. I was THIS CLOSE to ticking the boxes to five of the nine symptoms, and giving my doctor here a call. However, I know my depression is primarily situational, complicated by grief.

It's not my nature to give in.

I simply have refused to cave.

I am a SURVIVOR, damnit, and I will get through this. 

So, I continue face forward as best as I can, taking it one day at a time, and trying to look back with fond memories and not sadness.

Given that winter is now upon us in Beijing, and we had our first snowfall yesterday, beating down the blues just got a little more complicated! I FREAKING HATE THE COLD! The pollution is worse in the winter, too, given the coal factories are now fired up.  The nation's heat was turned on November 15th. Now we have dark, cold, polluted days... 'nough said.

It only dampens my spirits further.

Two weekends ago, Eric had organized a surprise birthday party for his wife, Alejandra.  I really have not done any 'social group activity' since, well, since I returned from Momma's funeral.  I have not felt up to socializing.  I do okay most days at work now, until the first person asks me how I am doing... then I am reduced to a puddle of tears at the thought of really not being okay at all.  To save everyone the awkward uncomfortableness, I simply have stayed home, away from social gatherings. I prefer it that way.  I have both hated, yet needed, this 'alone time.'

Well, the sun shone brightly that Saturday morning, so I decided I really needed to make myself go out. Some of my dearest Beijing friends were going to be there, and I knew that being among them would be food for my soul. Besides, the plan was to attend an exquisite brunch for the birthday girl, and I really am not one to turn down a delicious brunch. (Mimosa?! Yes, please ;)

These two lovelies...Duong, my Vietnamese sweetheart,
and Alejandra, my Honduran chica...they will always hold
a special place in my heart for being there for me on the
worst day of my life.  We were all newbies to Beijing
nearly three years ago, and bonded on our first day here.
Happiest of Birthdays, Ale, you are soooo loved!

Eric planned a special brunch for the birthday girl at Miga's
in Sunlitun, on the east side of Beijing.  It was fabulous!

Did someone say, "Mimosa?" Why, thank you!

I am so privileged to work with the most incredible people, from
all over the world... represented here is Canada, Mexico, Myanmar,
Thailand, Scotland, Philippines, Puerto Rico, Honduras, Vietnam,
and the good ol' U S of A- including a fellow Hoosier!
I am so richly blessed to know and work with these folks :)

The birthday girl is deserving of much love <3

Four of us girls decided to do a little retail therapy, while the rest
moved the party elsewhere. This is Carlos, Ale, and Jade.  I <3 them.

After we finished shopping at H&M and UniQlo (I scored on the clearance racks with two pairs of pants and a sweater for under $20!), Duong and I decided to head back across town.  Neither of us needed to party, we thought it best to quit while we were ahead. (or so I thought.)  We boarded the subway, and as I stepped on to the first train, I made eye contact with a local man that was seated. It wasn't the usual stares I get for being a green-eyed laowai. It was a split second intuitive feeling that didn't sit well with me.  I dismissed it, turned my back to him, and Duong and I were happily engaged in conversation about our sweet shopping deals.   

At the first stop, the train had been sitting for several seconds while passengers exited.  Once that crowd cleared, the rush of oncoming passengers began.  Out the corner of my eye, I see a man pushing through the oncoming passengers to exit.  This was unusual behavior, as the Chinese are typically pretty orderly exiting on and off the train- there is a 'system' here.  Again, it was a split second twinge in my gut, but I once again, quickly dismissed it.  I noticed the seat behind me was now empty, and I asked Duong if she wanted to take it.  Long story short, we got back home at about 6:30pm after a full day of eating, socializing, and shopping.  I was pooped.  I fell in to bed without eating dinner; I was physically exhausted from all the socializing, and I was still full from brunch.

The next day was Sunday, and I intended to go to church.  The pollution had climbed overnight, and the air quality was putrid, so I decided to stay in all day.  After a full day of tending to grading, lesson planning, laundry and chores, I wanted to go out and pick up a few things from the grocery.  I got dressed and ready to go, put on my winter coat, hat, and mittens, picked up my purse....

...and something didn't feel right.

I looked inside, and my big red leather wallet WAS GONE.

I tore through my backpack, shopping bags, checked my desk, coffee table and kitchen table.  Given that I have a wee little cozy apartment, there weren't too many places to look.  Still I combed my entire place four times, with panic rising with each passing minute.  With the exception of my passport, my entire life was in that wallet- my China bank card, two USA bank cards, three credit cards, my insurance cards, my Florida driver's license, social security card, voter's registration card, my scuba diving card, and ALL of my Chinese utility cards (paying utilities here in China is a complicated affair). This was a DISASTER.

I spent all of Sunday evening on my laptop, trying to lock all of my cards.  Many of them required me calling an 800 number.  That in and of itself is a ridiculous challenge from halfway across the world, complicated by a 13 hour time difference. My options for phone calls are Skype or Google calls. Often times the connection is lousy, the receiving end can't hear you, and the calls repeatedly drop. It can take a handful of calls just to transact one item of business.  On any given day it is super stressful taking care of business items back home from this far away. I was already a stressball trying to deal with it all, given the circumstances of a missing wallet. More than three hours later, I had my accounts locked down on hold.  I also had to decide whether to pursue getting at least one new credit card issued.  I am flying to Cambodia for Christmas, and needed at least one working card for travel- that's a $60 Fed Ex charge. I just couldn't believe all of this was happening to me.  It was more than my brain and emotional self could handle. I was in total meltdown mode.

I talked to Len multiple times that night.  His logical self talked me off the edge several times.  The fact that none of my cards had been used in over 24 hours gave him hope that my wallet would be recovered.  I did not share in that hope.  I live in a city of 23+ million people.  There was NOTHING in that wallet that tied me to Beijing...not my school ID card, my apartment address, my phone number...nothing. I figured my wallet was stolen by the strange man on the subway, which was clear on the east side of Beijing, 90 minutes from where I live.  You see, foreigners can stay in Beijing for up to 72 hours without having a Visa or registering with the police. If my wallet was found, I could have been a laowai traveler, lost in the wind.  My registrations are all tied to my passport number, and I thankfully had that on me. So even if my wallet was recovered, it would be impossible to trace it back to the local police station on my side of the city without a passport number.  Finding me would be literally like finding a needle in a haystack. I was quite certain that my wallet was GONE for good.

After hours on the phone with card companies and Len, it was now after midnight my Sunday night, and I had to get up for school in less than six hours.  I couldn't sleep; I was on the verge of a total emotional meltdown, so despairing.  I did the only thing I knew to do in times like this.  I prayed.  I mean I PRAYED WITHOUT CEASING until nearly 4am. God had delivered me a miracle once before in my life, and I escaped kidney cancer.  I needed a miracle like that again.

My alarm went off after a two hour nap, and I drug my wrecked self to work.  I went directly to HR who helped me freeze my local bank account.  I had some US cash in my apartment that she took to the bank to exchange for me while I taught my morning classes- at least I would have enough rmb's to get me through the week, and all of my utilities in my apartment were charged up. I had to tell myself that I was okay for the time being. I felt anything but okay :(

Mid-morning I was sitting at my desk. 

It was between classes and my cell phone rang.  

It was Dr. Bei Dong. 

She is my family physician, and has become a trusted friend here.  She frequently calls just to check on me, as she knows this fall has been rough.  I was happy to hear from her.  She had called about a week and a half before to tell me that she would be out of the office for a week- she and her husband were taking a vacation in Thailand.  I thought she was calling to tell me she was back.  I answered, "Hey, Dr. Dong! How was Thailand?!"  She replied, "It was great, but that's not why I am calling. Did you lose your wallet?"

Say, what?!  

Dr. Dong is almost another hour north of me, two hours from where my wallet had been stolen, how could she possibly know that?!

As it turned out, the thief on the subway took my cash, then walked my wallet to the police at the next subway stop.  He turned it in as a "Good Samaritan".  The police looked through my wallet and could not read anything, it was all in English.  By Monday morning shift change, another policeman coming on duty saw my wallet left in the communications room, and rifled through it again, looking for anything that might be useful in locating me.  Tucked behind some other business cards was an appointment card from Dr. Dong's office from over a year ago.  The card was in Chinese and English, so the police man called the Wudaokou clinic Monday morning, asked to speak to Dr Dong, and he spelled my name to her.  Minutes later, she was calling me with the news.

IT WAS THE MIRACLE I PRAYED FOR!!!

She and I both cried with happiness on the phone.  She knew how difficult life has been for me as of late, and this was an answer to prayer that I desperately needed.  My HR person called the police at the subway stop, gave them my information and phone number, and told them I would come after school before 5pm to pick up my wallet.

After my last class, I trekked all the way back across town, and arrived at the Hujialou stop just before 5:00pm.  I walked up to the first security officer I saw. They must have all been informed and were waiting for me.  I was greeted like a long lost friend, and true to the Chinese, I was carefully passed through several police officers as I was escorted through the subway station- to the belly and bowels of the Beijing metro.  It was quite scary and intimidating to be walking through a labyrinth of concrete dimly lit corridors, flanked by grey, steel doors.  It looked like something out of a movie set, the 'Communist China' one conjures up in their mind.  Occasionally another policeman would pass by my escort and me, but they were all business and no smiles.  We were in a maze of hallways and doors, deep below the surface of the city.  It was creepy.

Soon we passed through a steel door and entered a brightly lit communications center.  There must have been 30 security televisions that were monitoring the subway, and several officers were seated watching the screens. There my wallet was, laying on the desk of this 'command center'.  They all hopped up from their seats, greeted me with a bow, and presented my wallet to me with two open hands- like the precious gift that it was. Through a chittering of Mandarin and a game of charades, they tried to explain to me that all the cash was gone, but to please check my belongings. I didn't care about the cash, (about 1800 rmbs, $260, is over a month's wages for a local). The second miracle of the day was that every single card was THERE!  I started crying happy tears of relief; I couldn't help myself. What a harrowing 24 hours I had just been through.  They could tell I was happy, and they all started slapping themselves on the back for a job well done.  They bowed repeatedly, I bowed repeatedly, then asked if I could have a selfie with them.

Their mood immediately turned sober, and it was back to business as usual.  I was politely told, "No", was waved off, and escorted back out.  

Eh, it was worth a try!

But when I got back home, I couldn't resist!

As a Believer, it was not a coincidence to me

that the Bible verse of the day that came up

on my phone was from 2 Corinthians 9:6-15, 

the parable of what you sow, you shall also reap.

This was a lesson my momma preached to me

many, many times throughout my life- to

be mindful to sow 'good seeds' in the world.

In coming to China, I have really tried to

live that earnestly- to be kind and generous

to all people I encounter in my life here. I

know in my heart of hearts I have made a

positive impact in the lives of many during my

time here, and not just with my students.

I reaped those good seeds today- tenfold!

Thanks be to God!!!

On the subway ride home, with my wallet safely tucked
in my purse, I felt such a genuine peace and happiness. I
have not experienced that in months, in this fog of grief
and depression I have been living in. I decided to celebrate,
so I opened the one jar of homemade sauerkraut that my
bestie, Wanetta, brought to me when she came to visit
Beijing after my return from Momma's funeral. Today
was definitely a day worth celebrating.  The brats,
sauerkraut, and mashed potatoes never tasted so good!
It was a meal my sweet Grandma and I loved to share
(no one else in my family likes sauerkraut) so I
allowed myself to be bathed in good memories for
a change, and I seriously smiled with every bite :)))

I'm trying to work my way back the happiest girl in China.

With God's infinite grace, it's one day at a time.

G'nite, y'all!

Day 749-759 my momma

I was at school.  My students were taking an exam.  It was 2:00pm in the afternoon, and my phone started blowing up.  Something inside of me JUST KNEW.

Two hours earlier I was walking back from lunch across the school campus.  It was a beautiful blue sky day, in the mid-80's, but I felt a heaviness in my heart.  My friend Duong stopped to ask me how I was doing.  I started crying.  I just felt out of sorts.  Now it seems clear to me why.  My momma and I were exceptionally close, connected in an intuitive sort of way, just as my Grandma and I had been, too.  Her end on this earth was drawing near, and somewhere deep inside, I felt it.

Less than four weeks before, I had spoken to my momma for the last time.  I called her the night before I was due to fly back to Beijing.  I had just been up to Indiana about two weeks before that, and we had a lovely visit.  All seemed well at the time.  She was anxious to start chemo again, anxious in a "let's just get this over with" kind of way. She had her first treatment earlier that week and was feeling the usual tired, but nothing out of the ordinary.  No pain.  No nausea.  

She always said she felt bad telling people she had (non-Hodgkins lymphoma) cancer, because she thought she was one of the "lucky" ones.  She didn't want people to feel sorry for her.  Outside of losing her hair the first time, she always sailed right through treatments- never even threw up once. When she would get her chemo treatments, she felt badly at how sickly the other patients appeared. It hurt her heart, she said, but that was my momma. 

So, on what was to be our last conversation, I refused to say 'good bye for now' to Mom that last night in Florida.  I told her I had a long layover in Dallas, and she could keep me company on the phone.  We made plans for me to call the following morning.  

I called. 

and called. 

and called. 

For three hours in Dallas I called.  I never got through.  I called my brother before I boarded.  He was at school.  I left a message for him to also call Mom, as I couldn't get through.  By the time I landed in Beijing and got my phone sorted out, I learned that Mom had passed out and laid on the floor of her apartment for nearly 18 hours.  My sister in law found her.  She was taken to the hospital, dehydrated and disoriented.  After five days, she showed little improvement, not because she didn't seem capable, she just had given up.  She insisted on going to the nursing home.  I thought maybe the episode being in her apartment alone had frightened her, and that was why she was being so uncooperative in the hospital. Upon her insistence, the doctor finally agreed to sign the order for admittance to the nursing home. He told her that it was for 'rehabilitation'- to build her strength up and to get her back home with her cat, Sammy.  

She had no interest at all in ever going back to her apartment. 

To every request made by the hospital staff, and then the nursing home staff, she responded with, "I can't."  I won't." "I'm tired." "Maybe later." or "You can't make me." 

Less than two weeks later, she was gone. 

Truth be told, she willed herself to die.  I really believe that is what happened.  For the life of me, I still don't understand why.

The bigger problem for me was that I was never able to talk with mom again, not since I had left Florida on August 17th. At first she didn't have her cell phone with her in the hospital.  When she got settled into the nursing home, Kent took her the phone.  

It was charged.

The volume was up.  

It was by her bed stand. 

He could see that I had called repeatedly.  I called day and night from Beijing, for nearly 10 days straight. I was making myself sick with worry in not being able to talk with her.  The heaviness in my heart at not being able to speak with her was literally weighing me down. 

Since I moved to Beijing over two years ago, I made a point to call my momma every third day. Now it had been three weeks, which was very unusual for us. The truth is, she simply would not answer her phone.  Given the 12 hour time difference, I could never time my calls when Kent happened to be at the nursing home visiting her.  Kent told me that when he showed her the "restricted" calls on her phone and explained to her that those were calls from me in China, she responded with, "I know."

Kent said to me, "I'm sorry, Karyn. I don't know what to say."

When my phone started blowing up on September 14th, I just knew, too.

I collapsed.  I was completely undone with grief.  I barely remember walking home from school. Duong happened to be on the 6th floor looking for me, at the very moment I was sobbing on the phone with Len. She said she was worried about me when she had seen me at lunch, and she felt the need to check on me to see if my afternoon had gotten any better.  

It hadn't.  It was far worse than I ever could have imagined.

She walked with me home to my apartment. I vaguely recall having to stop several times.  I just couldn't put one foot in front of the other.  I have never been so wrecked.  I was completely undone. Ale and Duong stayed with me for many hours; I couldn't be left alone. I have never felt so alone since I have been in China than I did that day. With their help and encouragement, I booked a flight back to Indiana. It felt like I had just got settled in with a new school year underway, and now I was having to take to the skies already. I dreaded the flight home. 

I had to wait until the weekend to get out of Beijing, which was probably okay.  I needed the next 48 hours to pull myself together for the long haul home. I hate flying halfway across the world under the best of circumstances.  With the very best connections, I am still looking at a minimum of 18 hours of travel; it's usually more. I have since lost track of the days, but I know that after I landed in Indianapolis, and once Ellen flew in from Ft. Myers, the girls and I drove up north to Monon to Mom's apartment.  My niece, Kristal, met us there.  

There is always an upside to a death in the family, and that is it brings the family all together.  

We girls were all blessed with some strong Kiester genes <3

Honestly, as difficult as it was being back in her apartment without her, it was good, too.  The first order of business was to go through ALL of mom's scrapbooks...I joked that there was 5,432 lbs of scrapbooks.  There were at least thirty books in all.  I had just went through each and every one of them with Mom and we reminisced over them not four weeks before.  It seemed surreal to be sitting there in her apartment and doing it all over again, only this time her chair was empty.

Ellie put them all in chronological order, dating back to the early 1990's, and we went through every book- page by page.  We disassembled every scrapbook, and made piles of scrapbook pages.  Our goal was to reassemble them into each person's special memories, as they had been documented by Mom. We made books for all of the most important people in her life.  In the end, each of my five kids got a book, my brother and I each got a book, my niece and nephew got a book, Mom's older sister got a book, her high school classmates got five books of her years at Goshen High School (class of 1952!), and her 'gang' of girlfriends from Nappanee also got a book.

Lastly, Brianna, the little neighbor girl who lived in the house between Mom and I, also got a book. Brianna is now a senior in high school. It was so special to see Miss Bri, all grown up, and at Mom's funeral. I was really happy to be able to give her a book of her childhood memories. Through a sad turn of events, Bri was eventually taken from her biological family, placed in foster care, and adopted by the most incredible family from our small community.  I know Bri had very little, if anything, left from her early childhood years.  Mom saw to it that the happier times of her early years in life were all documented...playing dress-up, having tea parties, playing with Mom's kitties, sitting in Mom's flower garden, celebrating the holidays, and sailing on our boat- these were all photographed and placed in scrapbooks.  We found all of those pages in the books spanning several years, and put them into a book especially for her.

You see, that is who my momma was- the kindest, most generous, most gentle, loving, and thoughtful person I have ever known.  Over the years, my momma kept all of her grandkid's school papers, art projects, newspaper clippings, and photos- thousands of photos- which all went in to her scrapbooks.  

What a gift of love those scrapbooks turned out to be.

For all of us.

The girls laughed at their hairstyles, and the "Cosby" sweaters...

...and we laughed at Ellie's 'Turkey Day' story from 3rd grade :)

We came across this gem, taken at Grandma's 100th birthday party...

...and this photo of the cousins sitting in the "teddy bear chair"
at Great Grandma's 'dollhouse' in Lake Eufala, OK.

We got through most of Mom's personal things
on our first day together. After a verrrry long day, I was
completely worn out. It felt good to be in my big brother's arms.

We went out to dinner with Kent, and when the waitress brought
the check, the girls swooped in and took it right of their
Uncle Kent's hands- they were so pleased with themselves, lol.

The next morning was Mom's funeral.  The sun was just
coming up, and the sky sure looked beautiful- heavenly, really.

I have to admit it felt good to be "Back Home Again in Indiana."

I stood outside the funeral home for the longest time with my oldest
and dearest friend(s) in the world, Wanetta, and her husband, Greg.
I just couldn't bring myself to walk through the front door.
When I saw the beautiful flowers on her casket, it was unbearable.
My only request for Mom's funeral was stargazer lilies, as she and I
planted beautiful flower gardens in every home we both ever
lived in.  Digging in the dirt and pulling weeds was our therapy,
and stargazer lillies were my momma's favorite flowers of all. We 
had stargazer lilies in both of our flower gardens. In addition, my
momma was a lady through and through; she loved the color pink.
She collected pink depression class, cranberry cut glass, all
things Victorian and lace, and every flower, in every shade of pink.

The funeral setting was perfect...and beautiful...as she will
forever be in my eyes.  She looked so, so pretty in pink.

The finishing touch to her bouquet of flowers were the ribbons; Mom, Nana (as my brother's
kids called her) and Grandma, as my girls called her.  She was Grandma ShooHoo to be exact.
Mom always knocked on my front door and came on in the house.  She would call out, "You who, is anybody home?"  The little girls would come running, "Grandma ShooHoo!!!" The name stuck :)

My momma's oldest and dearest friend from
high school came down for her funeral.  That
was such a surprise to see Patsy.  She is a
beautiful woman, like my momma.  Ironically,
she is a 'snowbird' in Ft. Myers, FL, not
far from where my home is near LaBelle, FL.
I can't wait to look her up when I am back in
Florida this winter.  I gave Patsy all of Mom's
scrapbooks from their high school years.

These are "my people"; my youngest, Ellie, my niece, Kristal, and my oldest, Emily.

After the service in Monon, where Mom's friends and relatives
from northern Indiana could attend, we then drove south to
New Castle, Indiana, where Mom and I lived for over 25
years.  She was to be buried there, next to Harlan.

I have the most incredible friendship with my ex-husband, Todd, my daughter's father. Todd
never failed to call his ex mother-in-law on her birthday, and he and my brother Kent still get together at least once or twice a year to catch up.  I was moved beyond words when Todd asked me if he could host a gathering at his home after the graveside service. He knew that I am presently 'homeless' in Indiana, but that I would likely have wanted to have a place and opportunity to reconnect with people from New Castle during my short stay there from Beijing. That is the awesome kind of person he is, and the special relationship we still have to this day.  I could never thank him enough for being there for me, his ex-wife, on my darkest day.  I will love him forever for the generosity displayed to me.Thank you Todd, and all of the Thalls, for your love and support.

These two ladies, literally held me up.
I am so blessed to have TWO best friends,
who have known me all of my adult life.
In spite of my shortcomings, they love
me anyhow.  Wanetta and Susan, I love you
both to the moon and back again <3

I love everything about this photo- (Uncle) Todd with his daughters, my niece and what
technically are his great nieces and nephews by his ex wife... and flying the W from his
house... and Ernie Banks trying to get in the photo, too- this pic makes my heart happy.

The BEST big brother a little
sister could ever hope for- seriously.

My lovelies- the best two things Todd and I did right :)

This girl....I. can't. even.  She knows
the special place she has in her
Aunt Karyn's heart. So much love there.

  

No day would be complete without a golf cart ride around the neighborhood with Uncle Todd!

I went back to the cemetery the following day
to see where momma was laid to rest next to Harlan.
I sat on the grass, had a good cry, and sang
to my momma.  I sang every gospel song
I could think of...for the both of us.

As I sat on the ground and looked across the way,
I was struck that it was nearly the very same view
from Mom's flower garden in her backyard. She
would sit on her swing, look across the field,
beyond the corn stalks, and watch for deer to
come out of the woods at dusk.  She has a
perfect view from her final resting place.

The day after the funeral, I drove to Indianapolis to pick up Len.
He couldn't be there with me earlier in the week as he is teaching
in the classroom at FSWC this fall.  However, what I really
needed most was Len's help in emptying out Mom's apartment. I
dreaded that job, but it was the best way for me to be able to
help my brother while I was home from China. Kent also is a high
school teacher, and he had to return to teaching right away.

Kent rented a UHaul, and Len was great at planning and organizing.
We gave many things to Mom's neighbors. Some specific things
we held back and moved to storage for myself and the grandkids,
 and we took the rest to Goodwill.  It was so strange to go through
 all of Mom's things, her entire life, in a matter of ten hours or so.
I felt terrible about it, but Len was my rock. When all was said and
 done, we met Kent and Kathy for dinner at Mom and Grandma's
favorite restaurant in Monticello. We toasted them both with a cocktail :)
It feels bizarre for Kent and I to be the oldest living family members now.

My nephew got some of Mom's living room furniture, Kent took
Mom's bedroom furniture for his guest bedroom in his home in
Branson, and my niece took her Nana's dining room furniture.
She has a beautiful new home that she and her husband Eric
built last year, but when you walk into her dining room, it is like
walking in to Mom's (her Nana's) house....

...antiques, depression glass, angel
prints, and all.  My mom and dad's
engagement photo sits on the table <3

The day after momma died, I was still in Beijing,
and Ellie, my youngest, lives in Ft. Myers, FL,
where she works as a news reporter.  She sent me
this selfie as she was getting ready for work.  She
had bought this dress months before, but never
wore it, because she wasn't sure she really liked
it.  It was a pinkish-coral color, and all lace.
She texted me, "Mom, I look like a giant doily!"
and we both laughed...the color and the lace
is exactly what her Grandma ShooHoo loved.
After a very short sleepless night in her time
zone, just hours after her Grandma ShooHoo's
death, Ellie was dressed perfectly in her memory.

My sister in law, Kathy, picked out the cardinal
for Momma's memory folder.  It was also perfect,
as mom always had bird feeders, bird books,
and binoculars by her dining room window.
Cardinals were her favorite, and her Christmas
tree was filled with Victorian and cardinal ornaments-
both were some of momma's favorite things.

The day after momma died, on a grief-filled sleepless night in Beijing,
I wrote this poem, and Kent included it in her memory folder.

At Kent's request, I wrote Momma's obituary, too.  She was truly an incredible, Godly woman.
She lived her life well, and touched so many people's lives.  I miss her terribly, still, and I will love her forever.  She was the best momma a little girl could ever hope for- seriously, she was.

Rest in Heaven, Momma.

Esther Lucille (Smith) Kiester
February 25, 1934- September 14, 2016

Day 809 Fly the W

 

I want to introduce you to this man, Todd.  He is the father of my two daughters, Emily and Ellen, and he is a DIE HARD CUBS FAN.  Seriously, a card-carrying member since 1967.  His father Mike, has been a Cubs fan even longer.  Todd, his father, brother, and others make the trek to see the Cubs in spring training in AZ every year.  It is an annual event.  He flies the Cubs flag outside his home before every game, for as long as I can remember.  He goes to Wrigleyville several times a year to see them play at home, and he'll catch them in Cincinnati when the Reds play them, too.  He even goes to some of the farm club games for the Cubs.  This man lives and breathes Cubs baseball, and I love it.

When we were married, we also went to Chicago several times a season to watch the Cubs play at home.  We had our traditions, too, like stopping at Nuts on Clark before the game to buy sunflower seeds and mustard pretzels, and eating dinner at Harry Caray's after the game- win or lose.  Those were happy times. Chicago has always been my favorite US city, as it was my backyard playground growing up in northern Indiana. 

The summer of 1990, I was big, fat, and pregnant with our first born, Emily Tess, and we were in Chicago to see the Cubs.  I am sorry I don't have the photos with me here in China to show you.  I was so swollen that weekend at the ball games, and walking along Michigan Avenue.  I wasn't due until September 5th, and it was only the 24th of July.  Just a few days later, though, I was hospitalized with preeclampsia and very high blood pressure- no wonder I had a headache at the game. We listened to the Cubs on the radio in the hospital.  Then, on the 29th of July, Miss Emily was born at 4 lbs 11 oz., and nearly six weeks early.  Todd held a cubby bear while I had an emergency Csection. Emily was perfect, perfectly healthy, and it was a moment I will never forget.  

Last year was another heart breaker for the Cubs and Cubs fans all around the world.  We were all holding on to the hope that maybe there was an element of truth to Marty McFly's prediction in 1989 in Back to the Future II.  Again, it wasn't meant to be.  However, we had a young team, a strong team, and CUBS fans NEVER lose hope.  Maybe next year.

Fast forward to today. I donned my Cubs hat, and
went to work.  I had no classes the first three periods,
and neither did my friend, Carlos.  He's a true blue
Yankees fan, but he loves the game of baseball. Period.
He bought a special MLB package just so we could
watch Game 7 of the World Series on his iPad. At
times the VPN would die, we'd lose our connection,
and we'd be crowded around my desk watching the
game on his wee iPhone.  It didn't matter-
we weren't going to miss a single play!!!

My daughter, Emily, posted this pic- she was watching!

And her sister, Ellen changed her FB profile for the occasion. 

By some Chinese miracle, (and perhaps with the help of
some bootleg Russian mafia software, lol) my friend, Kevin,
who hails from Indiana, too, was watching the game on
the big smart board screen in his science classroom!

Time to move the party!

The game extended in to our fourth period classes, so we all
left notes in our classrooms for our students to come to room 505-
history was in the making!  We totally turned the World Series
into a teachable moment for our Chinese babies- they got lessons
from their Human Geography teacher, Media & Literacy teacher,
Drama teacher, Physics teacher, Psychology teacher, Art
teacher and PE teacher....we covered ALL THE BASES!!!

When it went into a rain delay and then an extra inning, it cut into our lunch hour.  More teachers and Chinese babies filled the room as the word was out....history was, indeed, in the making!!!  We rallied and taught the kids to turn their hats around, to pop their collars, loosen their ties- today just had to be the day....the day the CUBS losing streak was broken for good.

It had been 108 LONG YEARS, and then THIS

happened- yes, that is me you hear squealing!

We then included a music lesson and everybody sang
GO CUBS GO, as they do at the end of every game :)))

Amidst the madness and celebration,
12k miles away, I couldn't help but
think of my girl's father...
I just had to send him a text.
It was after this exchange that he
texted me the photo at the beginning
of this post- of him standing outside of
his home in Indiana, in front of the W
flag, well after midnight his time.
It made me smile all over :)))

Then his daughter Emily posted the photo above on Instagram, and his daughter Ellie wrote this tribute to her father on facebook:

Wow. So surreal. I am incredibly proud to be a Chicago Cubs fan. I always joked that I was "born into it" and "didn't have a choice" but I am so happy my dad taught me about baseball at a young age and made sure I had every opportunity to see the Cubs play. Enjoy the win Dad. You've waited a long time. #WorldChampions #GoCubsGo

I am so proud of our daughters, Todd.  We have both worked hard to be good parents, but this day belongs all to you.

Congratulations, Todd, Fly the W!!!