It's one of my favorite times of year. The traditions start in earnest on Thanksgiving, as we pour over the sale ads and map out our Black Friday shopping. Yep, I'm one of THOSE crazy people out shopping at 3:00am. I love celebrating the Advent season in church. I love decorating the log cabin. I love burning pine scented candles. I love building a fire in the fireplace. I love baking cookies, and decorating the cutout cookies with my girls. I love setting up the Christmas tree, and decorating the house. I love giving a 'special ornament' each year to my kids. I love shopping for the perfect, thoughtful gift. I love wrapping presents, and making each gift 'pretty'. I love adding a ribbon and charm to each person's Christmas stocking. I love finding stocking stuffers; it's the one time of year I buy lottery tickets, lol. I love delivering trays of cookies to friends and neighbors. I love preparing Christmas brunch. I love watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation for the umpteenth time. I love all the traditions I created over the years. Christmas has always been a special time of year for me.
And the reality is, I blew that apart this year.
All of it.
I filed for divorce, the log cabin was sold, and I took a job 13,000 miles from home, teaching Chinese kids about psychology. Being alone, this far from everything comfortable and familiar, has made me apply much of that psychology to my own big self. Being here in China by myself has left me with a lot of time to think about things. Oh, the things you can think.
It's taken me going halfway around the world to find myself, to love myself again, to face my shortcomings and faults, and to smile when I'd rather be crying. Believe me, there's been plenty of crying. It's all a part of healing, and I am okay with that. I have to keep facing forward, finding comfort in the slightest of things, and most of all, maintaining my faith and my sense of humor. I cannot afford to fall down on my own here in China. I only have myself, to pick myself back up again. Without my faith and my heavenly Father, and the ability to laugh at the craziness of my life, I would be lost, for sure.
So with all of this in mind, Christmas looming around the corner was something I just as soon would have liked to forget- except that I couldn't. Christmas is the celebration of my Savior's birth, first and foremost. It is also a thousand warm holiday memories, fifty-one years in the making, that have shaped and molded me to this very moment in my life. So this Christmas, I find myself in a largely agnostic country, away from family and friends, where I don't even own an oven to bake Christmas cookies. The solution?
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| Slap on some ridiculous reindeer antlers, and smile :))) To which one of my students said to me, "I like your moose horns, Mrs. McDaniel." I busted a gut on that one, and told them Santa's sleigh was not pulled by eight tiny moose! I then proceeded to recite to them the entire story "Twas the Night Before Christmas" from memory- and they were quite impressed :) |
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| Here's the one lone Christmas tree in the neighborhood. With a creepy Strawberry Shortcake Mouse? Or maybe it's a cat? I don't even know. There was no nativity to be found anywhere. |
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| The only time I saw the words "Merry Christmas" was this lighted display on the east side of the city where there is a large ex-pat community. But again, from this sign Christmas is just for beer, and shopping, and enjoyment, and more beer.... |
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| When I get to feeling sorry for myself I will succumb to a McDonald's filet o' fish meal for dinner. This was greeting me at the entrance of McDonald's, a very sad half decorated Christmas tree, and an even more sad falling over tree made of happy meal boxes. The only thing about this scene that made me smile was the thought that my OCD self wanted to evenly disburse the pathetic ornaments, and straighten up the happy meal tree. Yeah, that thought made me chuckle. |
The Chinese teachers don't mind working, because December 24 & 25 hold no special meaning. Likewise, the kids don't mind being in school. Thank God that for the first time ever, in the history of the school, the Western staff was granted a four day Christmas holiday! Naturally, we had to be back to teach on Sunday, December 28th. Working on a Sunday to 'give back' a day off work is The Chinese Way. Geesh....
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| My friend, Rob, donned a Santa hat that he wore faithfully the weeks leading up to Christmas as he taught his guitar class. (As a side note, I would like to join his students so I could get reacquainted with playing a guitar.) |
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| My friend Liz had her various choral groups performing carols in the atrium of the school before lunch time the week leading up to our break. Take note of another pathetic Christmas tree on the right, with it's star hanging down. The kids, however, sounded amazing- beautiful four part harmonies :) |
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| There was an "Awardmas" Ceremony the week of our holiday, which had nothing at all to do with Christmas. It was just recognizing the academic achievements of students who are enrolled in the A level degree program. We have IB, A level, and AP degree programs at BNDS. |
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| I was shocked to see one of my students playing 'background music' as student's names were called to receive their certificates. Watson is the biggest goofball in my class, not your typical introverted Chinese at all. Yet, when he sat down to the piano? Holy cow! I was blown away. That's what twelve years of dedicated practice sounds like- masterful. |
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| The Advising teams of each grade level held a Christmas door decorating contest to breathe some holiday spirit to our sterile, academic facility. |
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| Our team won for Grade 11! Not all of the kids were present for the picture, but each of them made a stocking to hang on the fireplace mantle. I had to explain to them how "the stockings were hung by the chimney with care". On their stockings, in their attempts at writing letters to Santa, they wrote things like, "I wish to get all A's this year." "I hope to get 2300 on my SAT's in January." "I wish to get to go to my dream school." "I wish to make my parents and teachers happy." Christmas has an entirely different meaning here in China, I guess. |
What does Christmas mean to me this year? It's hard to say, really. I tried to keep some traditions alive from afar. I searched for the perfect, thoughtful gift on Amazon, and had them packaged and sent to the kids. I did a bit of Christmas shopping here in China, to take gifts home with me when I visit in February, but even that was a challenge. It was an hour's subway ride with two exchanges to get to an IKEA, the only place I could find Christmas wrapping paper. It was even questionable Christmas wrapping paper at that.
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| Nothing says 'Christmas' like a skinny old man, in elf shoes, carrying a stack of wheat, in the snow, with a gray kitty following him. How I longed for even a Dollar Tree to buy some decent wrapping paper, gift tags, and ribbons :( |
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| Getting a care package from the States this time of year says 'Christmas' ! Thank you, Stephanie, for sending some much needed love at just the time when I needed it most. Nothing says <3 like a giant jar of Jif peanut butter, lotion, earrings, a necklace, scarf and book :) She knows me well. |
Rather than staying in the city, feeling lonely for all things home, and feeling guilty for my Chinese colleagues covering my classes over the holiday, I do what I normally do when I feel blue...
I get on tripadvisor.com and start scoping out the next place I want to go to when I get the chance! There's just something about shopping for flights, looking at accommodations, reading restaurant reviews, and pouring over the 'things to see and do' that just helps me get back to happy. My daughters Carissa and Ellen do the same thing :) I have done this ever since I was in college. As soon as I could scrape some $$ together, I bought a plane ticket for the next school break. It was my reward for working hard and sacrificing sleep through the final push of each semester's end. I've continued this tradition all my adult life, too. I love planning vacations. I love cross referencing websites for the best airfare. I really love finding the best hotel deal with the best view, free wifi, and breakfast included! I just get a kick out of finding some place new, some new experience, to put on my bucket list. I guess planning and organizing trips are a pleasant perk to my OCDness :)
So, my next destination?
Sanya Beach, South China. It's known as 'The Hawaii of the Orient'. Stay tuned!
G'nite, y'all!
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