Day 457 Friendsgiving and then some

It's no secret I have been struggling as of late, which is very unlike me.  I really am a pretty positive person.  I thank God for every sunrise, a new day to start fresh, to try better, to be better.  Generally this works for me, as I will find a way to take a new perspective or a different approach, to have a sense of humor about it all, to find pleasure in the simplest of things, and to get back to choosing happy. I credit my grandmother, and her powerful positive attitude and influence in my life.  That woman overcame tremendous adversity in her 101 years of living.  She was my role model in that a person can do ANYTHING they set their mind to. Man, I miss her. She and I were cut from the same cloth, as she would say.

In the last few weeks, choosing happiness has been more difficult to come by.  I refuse to give in to this sinking feeling, but it has reduced me to tears more often than not. I think it is a combination of several factors that are converging....Thanksgiving marks the start of another holiday season, one which causes me to be apart from my children and grandchildren once again.  I know; it was my choice to take a job and move to China, and choices come with consequences.  Sometimes those consequences are painful ones.  As I mentioned, I miss my grandmother who is no longer with me. Besides my own children and grandchildren, I miss my momma, my brother, my niece and her family.  These are my people, who know me best and love me most.  I am homesick for them.

I am missing my Len, too. Thankfully he arrives this coming Friday for a 41 day stay here in the 'jing- Praise Jesus!

Adding to my sorry state is the fact that I hate the winter months. More to the fact, I hate to be cold. It is now winter here in the 'jing, and it has been bitterly COLD so far.  I am back to wearing under layers, mittens, scarves, boots, hats, double jackets, and still I am cold.  I hate it.  Add to this misery is that I go to work in the dark, and come home in the dark. During the day, I look out my classroom window to skies that are gray, and more often than not, they are heavily polluted.

It's been positively choking air the last several days...AQI up over
500 and 600. This was on the way to lunch and it was 598. You
couldn't even see the buildings less than half a block away.
By mid afternoon it peaked at 620. My friend brought an 'egg'
in to my room which is a digital readout AQI, and with the
windows and doors closed, it was still 308 in my classroom!
WHO says to wear a mask over 200, as that is considered 'severely
polluted' and 'hazardous to your health'.  I taught with a mask on :(

So I add a much needed mask to my daily outerwear, and it begins to feel like most things in China right now just plain SUCK. The sinking feeling I have been fighting feels a bit like seasonal affective disorder.  I would love to be on a warm sunny beach somewhere, this girlie definitely needs some sunshine! Shoot, I would take some artificial UV light, but there isn't a tanning be to be found anywhere in the China- they bleach their skin here!

The good news is Len and I will be flying to the Maldives (off the southern coast of India and Sri Lanka) for a five day break over Christmas, then a quick weekend trip to Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, over New Year's. I just need to hang in here a little while longer, sunshine will come my way soon.

In spite of my usual sunny disposition, there are a few things I hate in this world.  One I have already mentioned, and that is I hate to be cold. Beyond that, I hate violence, I hate stupid drunken behavior, and I hate crying.  All three of these are closely intertwined to issues in my past.  Most days I feel like the past is where it should be- in the past- yet sometimes the stars align, s**t happens, and something breaks inside of me. This happened on Saturday night.

Let me back up to happier moments leading up to that...

Starting on Thanksgiving, it was a three day run of eating out and overindulgence....

Twenty two of my closest friends and colleagues had dinner
reservations at Lilly's American Diner up in Sunlitun. 
Key Largo Robert brought paper turkeys to decorate
our dinner table, lol.

Good friends, good food, good wine, and paper turkeys
will temporarily brighten anyone's mood.

I seriously broke out in to the biggest grin when
this Thanksgiving dinner plate was placed in
front of me.  I thought I'd died and gone to heaven.
It was THAT GOOD, y'all.
(Ok,  truthfully not as good as a Thanksgiving
feast like I would prepare back home, but you
have to measure it against China standards!)

You simply can't beat homemade pumpkin pie
with whipped topping for dessert- delish :)

As if we didn't get our fill the night before, Eric, Alejandra and
I went to a new pizza place that is only two subway stops from home.
It was Friday Night Pizza Night and Oh. My. Goodness.
I will never venture to the far east side (an hour's subway ride
away) for a decent pizza ever again. I can't wait to take Len here. 

And if THAT wasn't enough, Xalapa's, one of my
favorite Mexican restaurants, (in a cool hutong)
was having an all you can eat buffet with
free flowing margaritas- why, yes- please!
Another 24 of us gathered for a family dinner out.

My friends, Kevin and his wife Laura.  He is originally from
Indiana, but has been living for years in McAllen, Texas, where
my grandmother lived and was buried this past spring.  I spent
many vacations in the Rio Grande Valley.  Small world, huh?

Three nights of social gatherings and eating out, and I was done in.  By 8pm Saturday, three of my friends and I decided to cut out after the Mexican dinner and call it an early night.  Rather than take the subway home, we decided to hail a cab together. That was our first mistake. We exited the hutong, and crossed the busy street, where a cab was pulled over, letting out some Chinese men.  As we approached the cab to see if he would take us across town, it became apparent that they were five VERY DRUNK Chinese men.  Two of the men were nearly falling down, and were being propped up by their buddies.  I try to avoid drunks at all costs, so I put my head down, and walked toward the back of the cab.  For some reason, totally unprovoked, one of the falling down drunks put his hand on my female friend's face and pushed her.  She backed up, I back up, and we just looked at him in disbelief.  I said to her, "He's totally drunk, let's just get in the cab."

Naturally, and expectedly, my friend's husband yelled to the man, "Don't touch my wife!"  "What's wrong with you?"  "Don't ever put your hands on my wife!"  His buddy put an arm out, to hold the husband back as he was yelling, and the drunk started yelling in return.  The buddy pushed the husband (my friend) in the chest, and then the fight was on.  The wife and I got in the car, and yelled for our two men to get in the car with us.  It wasn't happening.  Total chaos and pandemonium broke out.  Now the husband had the man who hit his wife in a head lock on the ground.  He says to the man, "Are you done?  You Ok?  If you're ok, I'll let you up."  The drunk man said, "Ok, Ok, Ok." They shook hands, and all seemed fine.  He got in the back seat with us girls, and started to shut the door. Meanwhile, the other male friend was getting beat on by several Chinese men.  He made it to the front seat of the cab, but could not shut the door.  By the time he got in the cab, a screaming crowd had gathered. Men were hitting and kicking my friend in the front seat.  He could not shut the door. The cabbie was trying to push my friend back out of the car! We wanted him to just drive, but he couldn't with the passenger door open.  Now the crowd was converging on the cab, and our cabbie jumped out. My friend sitting next to me yelled for us to lock the doors.  Before he could get his locked, his door was opened, and two men grabbed him and pulled him out of the cab for round two. I was sitting next to him, and when that happened, I got hysterical.  All the while random men continued to scream and yell, reaching in through the passenger front side, and kicking my friend. The wife and I were powerless in the back seat.  This went on for about ten minutes.  The husband got away a second time, jumped back in the car, and eventually my friend in the front seat was able to push the men away and get his front door closed.  We locked all the doors and waited.  I was crying hysterically.  It was like a mob mentality, people not even involved in the original altercation were jumping in and taking shots.  People were slamming the car roof, smacking the windows, pushing on the car, and grabbing at the door handles.  I. LOST. IT.

We kept trying to call 119- thinking that was the Chinese version of 911.  After multiple tries, someone in broken English said it was the fire department.  We tried 114, and got a recording. Then we heard the sirens coming.  Thank goodness the police had arrived- or so we thought. (It turns out, if you have an emergency in China, dial 110- good to know). They parted the angry crowd and escorted us to two police cars to transport us to the station. The other police stayed behind to deal with the drunk men and the incited crowd of onlookers (and participants).

The long and the short of it is we were detained in a room at the police station for over nine hours, while they conducted their investigation.  The five drunks were taken to the hospital to be checked. One required four stitches in his head.  Our friend in the front seat, who got the worst of it, was also taken to the hospital to be examined.  Lots of bruises, several scrapes, a bloodied lip, broken glasses, and a very sore shoulder, though they could not say it was a torn rotater cuff on the CT scan.  After two and a half hours of waiting, and being given no information after they took our initial statements, we called our school liason to come help translate for us. In the States, you couldn't be held if you weren't being charged with anything, but this is China, not the States, and things are done VERY differently. After three hours, I called the US Embassy, to see if they could intervene on our behalf. We had been attacked, it was unprovoked.  It led to an altercation what was out of self defense.  The Embassy called the police station three times, and were told they were "not authorized to speak to the Embassy" and hung up.  The Embassy called me back to tell me they tried, and that we simply needed to wait it out to see what developed.  Unless they put us in handcuffs or jail, there was little they could do.  Great.

By 4am, I was completely done in.  My blood pressure was sky high, I could tell by the intense headache I had.  I have hypertension, and take medicine at bedtime....I should have had my medicine seven hours prior.  It didn't matter.  I wasn't going anywhere.  I was trembling head to foot, teeth chattering.  I wasn't cold.  My nerves were shot. I was scared, and I was exhausted.

By 5am, the "compromising" (as they called it) began.  We had two opportunities to reach a compromise with the other parties, otherwise, legal action would be taken.  We said we had no intention of filing any charges, we simply wanted to go home.  We offered to cover any medical expenses that were over and above our friend's hospital bill as compensation.  The police then took our "compromise" to the others.  There was lots of shouting, and we waited.  They came back saying they wanted 5000rmb.  Four of the men wanted nothing. The one who got four stitches wanted the money.  The police said that amount was not altogether unreasonable since he was 'most hurt.'

So in China, it doesn't matter who started it, it doesn't matter what stories are told, or what evidence is presented, the one most hurt is the 'victim' and he deserves to be compensated.  I got hysterical all over again.  To the three Chinese teachers from our school I cried, "This is extortion!  Because his wounds require stitches, HE'S the victim?  I don't have any bruises, but I have been an emotional wreck for over 8 hours, the stress and anxiety has me shaking all over.  I have a raging headache.  I doubt I'll be able to sleep.  I likely will have nightmares about this, as I have never been involved in an angry mob scene like I was that night.  I screamed you have NO IDEA how frightening it is to be a single woman surrounded by 100 screaming aggressive Chinese, in a country not my own, a language I do not speak, where I had done NOTHING to these people, and yet they were trying to break in to the car, grabbing at my door handle and smacking my windows to do what to me??? And I am not a victim here?!  This is total bullshit."  One female Chinese teacher tried to hug me after my rant, I backed away and said, "Please, I am asking you, do not touch me right now." I was completely undone.

And then, it was calmly explained to me again that this was the Chinese way.  It didn't matter who was most hurt, it didn't matter if it was extortion, what mattered was keeping my friends out of jail, or worse. We said 5000rmb is too much. We got in our wallets and purses to see how much money we had. We didn't even have 2000rmb on us between the four of us. Our Chinese teacher friends offered up 300rmb of their own, and we told the police, "2000rmb is all we have.  That's all we can offer."

Another hour later, they took it.

They then typed up these statements, one for each of us, saying
that we agreed to not press charges, and we agreed to pay the
victim 2000rmb.  At least I think that's what it said, as it was
naturally in Mandarin.  We each wrote the words "I agree",
and placed a red ink thumbprint over our signature, and
over the words "I agree."  Almost 9 1/2 hours later, as the
sun was coming up, we were free to go home.

I should have taken the damn subway to begin with.

I came home, took my medicine, took a long hot shower, and called Len to recant the whole ordeal.  I was still terribly upset, over the violence displayed by simple pedestrians who were not involved.  I was upset that the police do not offer any protection.  (I later learned from my doctor, that the police are the LAST people you call if you are in trouble.  You must have the proper connections if ever something bad happens to you.  I now have those connections.)  I was upset that I have been living here for 1.5 years, and I didn't know to call 110.  I was upset to be around any kind of stupid drunken behavior.  Given my childhood, I do not deal with drunks well at all.  I make a point to seldom be around it.  I'll enjoy a good margarita now and then, but I am not one to be out clubbing until the bars close down.  I will go out with my friends, but I am generally home by 10pm, if not sooner.  I'm too old for that shit. I just don't need it in my life.

I was most upset that feeling safe, and feeling respected, and even feeling wanted here was nothing more than an illusion.  It was eye opening and disheartening to discover a deep seated hate toward foreigners here in China.

I slept just three fitful hours on Sunday, and I got back up.  I tried working on my lesson plans.  I did laundry and dishes and tried to busy myself.  I built a puzzle, read a magazine, listened to music, lit candles, and cried off and on the whole day and evening through.  By Sunday night, I knew I was in no shape to return to work.  I needed time to process it all.  I didn't want to face people at school and have people asking me, "What happened?"  I didn't want to be the object of high school gossip, and I didn't want sympathetic stares, or what I perceived to be empty platitudes from my Chinese colleagues. I wanted to be left the ef alone. This whole experience struck a very deep seated nerve with me....one tied in to booze and aggression and violence.  It affected me far beyond the incident itself, and I needed time to put myself back together.  I came to China to leave many things in my past behind. I wanted a fresh start, a new lease on life, to choose happy. In one scary moment, my past followed me here and caught up to me in a very big way.

On Monday, I saw Dr. Dong, my family physician.  She's wonderful.  Beyond wonderful.  She held my hands, and she let me spill out all of my ugly thoughts and feelings- much of that ugliness directed at 'her people' and 'her country'.  She then told me stories, ugly stories of her people and her country, situations that have happened to her, and her family. We cried together. I feel sad for her. One day I will leave China. She cannot, and she wants nothing more than to come back to America to raise her family and practice medicine. That hurts my heart, that she does not have that freedom. She has been to America; she went to med school in America.  She went bass fishing on Kentucky Lake. She has been told by her country that she will never again be allowed to leave, and the US will never issue a visa for her or members of her family, for reasons she does not clearly understand. Somebody, somewhere can decide a Chinese person's fate, and that is that. She told me when she and her husband get discouraged, they hold each other in bed, and talk about the beautiful memories they have of fishing on Kentucky Lake.  She said to survive China, you simply put your head down, and accept your lot in life. For the vast majority of the Chinese, their lot in life is not good.  Only a small percentage are 'refined' as my doctor told me- who have the intelligence, work ethic, money and opportunity to become successful.  Even then, unless they are 'connected', life can still be very difficult and unfair. For the better part of this 1.4 billion population, they eek out a living, are paid very low wages, are uneducated, and many are depressed and oppressed.

Those are the ones who get drunk, do bad things, and try to get money out of some one else who has it better than they do, she explained.

And then my Buddhist doctor did the most beautiful thing.  She asked if she could pray for me.  She said she wasn't very good at it, but she knows I am a believer, and she believes God does hear our prayers.  I knew Dr. Dong was not only my doctor, but a valuable and trusted friend.  She was there for me in all the ways I needed her to be, without my even asking.

As I left her office, with some medicine in hand to hopefully help me sleep a little better, I stepped out in to sh***y air once again and put on my mask.  In the two hours I had been at the doctor's office, the AQI had climbed to nearly 500.  China was still looking ugly to me, but the people were not ugly. I do feel empathy for them, and I refuse to be a victim one minute longer. My faith was restored.

G'nite, y'all.

Day 445 It wasn't meant to be

It took the ENTIRE WEEK to order and receive two air filters for my air purifiers, and for me to mail two packages home.  It was a rough week, one that lead me to my first honest to goodness funk here in China.  I've been here one and a half years, so I guess China was bound to finally get to me.  It happened this week- several times over.  I'm still working at trying to get back to my happy place.

Note the photo above.... see all that madness???

This is how packages get delivered in China.  Remember the post I wrote about 11/11?  It is Singles Day in China where singles see fit to treat themselves to all sorts of gifts by ordering off the internet. It is the equivalent to our Cyber Monday following Thanksgiving and Black Friday.

Well, the streets ARE LITTERED with all of these little tuk-tuk delivery carts that are loaded down with boxes and packages to be picked up.  For the life of me, I don't understand how it all works- but it seems to in the end.  If you remember, they spent 14.3 billion US dollars on the internet in one 24 hour cycle.  Can you imagine what logistics are involved in delivering all of that crap?!  Well, you really don't need to imagine after all, as the streets and sidewalks look like the photo you see above.

All of this means that I picked the WRONG WEEK to decide to replace my air filters.  It took all of Monday and Tuesday for my Chinese colleague to locate a company that carried my brand of filters. For one filter I had to pay my colleague in cash, and he used his special card to order it- that was easy.  For the other filter, it was COD (cash on delivery).  Now any other time of year this is not usually a problem, as there may be no more than three or four tuk-tuk delivery carts outside our west gate of the school. The carts are there every lunch hour (kids order McDonald's, KFC, and Pizza Hut delivery for lunch- yep, even Chinese kids get tired of Chinese food for lunch, lol). Unfortunate timing on my part, because as of late there are now no less than 20 carts jamming the sidewalks and streets with their packages splayed out everywhere, to be located by their rightful owners.  I wish I could say it is like going on a fun Easter Egg Hunt kind of an adventure.  There is NOTHING fun about it.  Adding to the misery of this game of hide and seek is the fact that winter has definitely settled in to the 'jing and it is blistering cold.  F'n miserable.  (yeah, the cold weather, gray sky, polluted air has not helped my usual sunny disposition).

I was in the middle of teaching class when my cell phone started ringing incessantly.  I would answer, the Chinese man on the other end would start gibbering in Mandarin, and then we took turns hanging up on each other- in total frustration.  As soon as class let out, I went to one of my Chinese colleagues, hit redial, and handed her the phone.  It was the delivery man, my first filter had arrived.
Thankfully, my Chinese colleague had the presence of mind to ask which delivery company it was, so she wrote down the Chinese characters for me, and told me to look for a blue and white cart.  Over my lunch break, I raced down to the west gate, with at least 100 other students and staff all looking to pick up their orders of food and such.  By the third blue and white cart I approached, and a whimsical game of charades, I was able to pick up my filter.  All and all, for Chinese errands, it was relatively painless, in spite of five total phone calls in the span of an hour.  Yeah, that's painless for the China.

Feeling full of myself and quite confident, I decided that since I managed to score on one Chinese errand for the day, I may as well try for two.  I went to the China Post after school to mail a book home to a friend in Florida.  I typed what I wanted in to the Google translate app on my iPhone before I left school.  You see, things get more complicated by the fact that Google is banned in China.  They apparently hate one another.  Google is behind the Great Firewall of China which means you must have a working VPN on your phone or computer to be able to access it.  Often times when you are out and about in the 'jing, and not connected to wifi, it can be nearly impossible to get your VPN to connect.  This means you are left taking care of business, running errands, buying medicine, ordering food, all without your trusty translator app.  And this is WHY I play one helluva game of charades, people!  No really, this is why I seriously need to build my Mandarin vocabulary beyond twenty words and the ability to count to 10! It is such a complicated language for this old woman to learn.

I digress.....

I get to the China Post after school.  I show her my request on my iPhone in Mandarin, that I wanted my package sent airmail to the United States.  I had written a card to this person, and stuck it in the book.  The clerk got all sorts of animated with me over this card.  I was trying to charade to her to simply put the card back in the book, they were 'flying' (arms flapping) together to the same address. She got louder and even more animated with me.  Why is it when people speak to you in a foreign language and you don't understand, they simply say the same damn things to you over and over ONLY LOUDER??? At this point, her shouting and my flapping was creating quite the scene, and thankfully another Chinese patron who had very broken "engrish" came to my rescue.  Apparently the problem was that my envelope was sealed.  It had to be inspected.  It's not like I had anything explosive tucked in my greeting card, but in that moment, I was really wishing it was full of purple and pink glitter. She tore the envelope open (not happy here) saw there was nothing inside but "engrish letters" and she handed it back to me.  I handed it back to her, and with a little more chittering and flapping, the envelope got back in the book, into an airmail envelope, and was sent on its way.  That only took 30 minutes of my life I'd like to have back.

By Thursday, my second air filter had arrived to the school.  When my phone rang the first time with a chittering Chinese man on the other end, I took my chances that it was indeed the delivery man. This time, however, I didn't know which tuk-tuk to look for.  I left for the gate, and stepped out into the lunch hour/rush hour delivery madness to a scene like you see in the photo at the beginning of this post.  Mind you, it was at least 20 delivery tuk-tuks, and you could barely step on the sidewalk and street for all the people and packages.  I decided to start at one end of the line and work my way down.  Armed with my iPhone in hand, I hit redial, and said "Ni hao! Hello! Are you my delivery man?"  Now most of these delivery men all had their phones to their ears, as they were calling owners like myself to come pick up their packages.  So there I was hitting redial over and over again, and then getting within a few feet of the person to see if they were talking to me.  I am sure my actual delivery guy was totally pissed as I called him no less than six times in a row before I finally found him.  Actually, true to Chinese form, when he saw the green eyed laowai looking dazed and confused, he was all too eager to help me out.  The Chinese, they really are pleasant, helpful people for the most part.  I got my filter, paid the COD, and then he took a selfie of us together on his phone. It's the Chinese way.

By Friday, I was feeling full of myself at my Chinese accomplishments, so I decided I was going to mail the first of my Christmas boxes home to my oldest daughter, her husband, and the grandkids.  I had been told not to wrap the presents (that was a bummer) as everything must be inspected.  That was to be expected after the fiasco I had over a mere sealed greeting card earlier in the week.  I decided to go on my lunch hour back to the China Post to take care of business.  I printed labels for my boxes, had my request up on my translator app and was locked, loaded and ready to go, and I mean I was loaded.  I was lugging two big boxes full of prezzies in an IKEA shopping bag.  I walked in to the China Post, and it was the same lady that waited on me earlier in the week.  I greeted her with a Ni hao! and a smile, and she clearly recognized me.  I started unloading my boxes from the bag, and she once again got all sorts of animated with me.  I got out my passport (you have to have your passport to mail packages).  I got out the labels.  I opened the boxes for her to inspect, and she just got louder, and louder, and LOUDER.  Something clearly was not working here.

With no other patrons in the building, in desperation, I called one of my Chinese colleagues to talk to this woman and get her to simmer down.  I handed her my phone, she chittered away with him, and handed the phone back to me.  What I failed to understand was that this particular China Post does not handle large boxes.  I needed to go to a different location.  I call bu****it on that one, as I saw two people with boxes get waited on there the other day.  Sometimes China just likes to mess with laowais.  I'm not even kidding; like taxi drivers will wave you off because they simply don't want to deal with the language barrier.  Now thankfully that is on rare occasion, as they generally are kind and helpful, but every now and then you get a hold of a real stinker. (that also stinks).

So, I loaded my boxes back in the bag, and headed out into the wind and freezing rain for a nearly 20 minute walk to the next location.  I had no hat, no mittens, no scarf, no umbrella. and a good twenty pounds of Christmas cheer I was hauling down the busy streets of Beijing. I had the presence of mind to stop at an ATM along the way (to thaw out) and get more cash to mail my package, just. in. case.

I walked in to the second China Post, stepped up to the window to show her my phone with my request translated in to Mandarin, and my phone DIED.  I didn't have my portable battery with me, and that nearly sent me in to a panic.  I took a deep breath, asked if anyone spoke English, and then resigned myself to a complicated game of charades to get these boxes air mailed (arms flapping) to the United States (see my passport???)  I was directed to another window, and was about to start the game all over again, but I soon realized this was the inspector.  I opened my boxes, and she began rifling through...

and handing presents back to me.

One after another she would say "No", and hand it to me.  Another "No."  Another "No."  Another "No"  Yet, another "No."  After about the fifth "No", most of which was my grandkid's gifts, I was DONE with China.

I HATED China in that moment.  I missed my family.  I missed my home.  I was missing the holidays.  And why does EVERYTHING have to be so f'n COMPLICATED???  I couldn't help myself- out of sheer frustration- and an intense and immediate bout of homesickness- I started crying. I could not stop.  Every package she handed back to me made the tears flow all the more.  Every time she said "No" I would put a package back in my bag and wipe more tears away.  When all was said and done, only half of the items could be mailed- literally.

She looked at me holding a half full shopping bag, and just kept saying "No, No, No".  Only this time she was trying to tell me to stop crying, and she was trying to hand me a tissue. Her kindness and empathy for me in my moment of vulnerability made me cry that much more.  I was totally undone.

In the end, it cost me $120 US dollars to mail only half of the grandkids' Christmas.  All I could do was force myself back out into the freezing rain for the 30 minute walk back to school, carrying half of my unmailed Christmas presents and feeling incredibly homesick and sorry for myself.  I hit a new low this last Friday, and it was a low that Kraft Mac n' Cheese could not pull me out of.  I was supposed to a attend a birthday bash with about twenty of my Western teacher friends.  It probably would have been good for my mental health, but I could not bring myself to go back out into the cold in my sorry state. When I got home from school, I was in bed by 5pm, and I stayed there until 9am on Saturday.  Sixteen straight hours in bed??? That is unheard of for me. I was in a serious funk,  y'all. The question was, how was I going to pull myself out of it, all the way in China?  Stay tuned.

G'nite, y'all.

Day 443 Project Week- for my Psyc nerds!

I know, I know, I know....

This post takes me back to November.  To say I am a wee bit behind in blogging is a HUGE understatement.  It is now in the final days of the first semester (at LONG last) and I am behind in everything....behind in getting groceries (mac n' cheese again tonight), behind in doing laundry (does this shirt pass the sniff test?), behind in charging up my utilities (I check my gas and electricity meters daily, but I can't get to the bank to recharge the cards), behind in personal grooming (shaving your legs really isn't necessary in the winter, right?) behind in grading (don't even get me started there), well crap.....I am just seriously behind.  

I am zeroing in on "the eleventh hour", when all lesson plans and grades must be submitted, the apartment cleaned and 'shut down' for a month, and my suitcases are packed for home.  I leave 10 days from now, on January 23rd, and the thought of that nearly causes me to have a panic attack.  So what do I do???

Procrastinate a little longer, by taking a time out from grading to post a blog that has been in the can for two months.  (To my credit, I graded 3 classes of final exams today, and only two piles of finals are left on my desk)  So there. Suck it.

This is my first year to teach my "Chinese babies".  They are my Grade 10's, affectionately known as PAL kids, or Pre- Alevel diploma program.  Boy are they ever my Chinese babies!  I heart them all over.  They are so wide-eyed and full of wonder to the world.  Their English is VERY broken, but they try so very, very hard to please me and make good grades.  They are like three year-olds in adolescent bodies, and they are adorable.  Unlike a three year old, the good news is not one of my students has laid on the floor and thrown a temper tantrum, not even once, this whole semester. Besides, that would be very un-Chinese of them.  

Unless, of course, they really were a 3 year old Chinese kid, and boy do they ever have a set of lungs! I should know, my neighbor next door has a three year old boy I have affectionately named "Prince". "Prince" damn near gets his way each and every day, multiple times a day, if he screams and cries and throws a fit loud enough.  It's all I can do to refrain myself from giving the neighbors a lesson on operant conditioning.  Except, there's the part where I don't speak Mandarin. Those adults over there reward his god-awful behavior by giving in to him all. the. damn. time.  It happens when there's only one child, and four adults are catering to him. It happens. alot. in the China.  But I digress.....

So, in November it was "Project Week" for the Grade 10's.  Since I do not teach English/Math/Science, I am usually exempt from participating.  Project Week for the Grade 11 and 12's is code for "We can't go to class for a week leading up to taking the SATs on Saturday."  It happens twice a year.  For Grade 10's, they actually do Projects, and suspend all regular classroom instruction.  It could be a cool idea, and an opportunity for some in depth study on a particularly interesting topic, but it generally ends up being some contrived thrown-together-at-the-last-minute B.S.-group-project that involves a fashion show, power point exhibit, presentations, voting and awards.  

Have I said how much I hate group projects?!  I did as a student...I do as a teacher.

I shouldn't sound so sour, other than I really would rather have the instructional time with my kiddos- especially my Grade 10s.  I have to take it SLOW with them, as I find myself using so many words they do not know, I have to stop for a vocabulary lesson just to get through the first point of my lecture.  If I'm jacked up on a cafe mocha with double shots, it is doubly difficult to slow myself down.

The kids were required to do two projects from their choice of core subjects, and one additional project if they chose in another class- or take remediation in a core course they were falling behind. These kids are in school 14 hours a day, who wants 'extra lessons'???  I was shocked, then pleasantly surprised to discover that all of my PAL kids wanted to do a 'Psychology Project'.  That meant I had to come up with something REAL QUICK LIKE.

For the previous several weeks, I introduced my Chinese babies to psychoanalytic psychology and the 'virtues and vices' of Sigmund Freud.  They loved it.  Especially the sex talk, because Ms. McDaniel doesn't pull any punches, and she loves to make her Chinese babies giggle and blush. They learned about the three structures of personality; the id, ego, and superego.  They learned about the five stages of personality development (psychosexual development); oral, anal, phallic, latency, and genital stages.  They learned about ego defense mechanisms- there are 12 in all- repression being the foundation to his psychoanalytic theory. They learned about projective tests, like the Rorshach Inkblot Test, the Thematic Apperception Test, and the Rotter's Sentence Completion Test.  We had a ball making our own inkblots, creating stories for the TAT, and analyzing our own dreams.  In a word, we had FUN, y'all.  

Our study of Freud wrapped up with one of his most famous case studies, the story of Little Hans which was originally published in 1909. It was a greatly flawed study, following the psychosexual development of a boy, Little Hans, who was between the ages of 3 -5. He was in the midst of the phallic stage, and Freud affectionately referred to him as a "Little Oedipus". If you are interested, follow this link for more: The Case of Hans, a Phobic 5 year old boy  Though the case study was quite unscientific since it was built upon the notes and stories told by Hans' father (who was a great supporter of Freud), it was still considered an important piece of case study research which provided anecdotal evidence for the phallic stage of development, which Freud believed was most critical.  The long and the short of it was that Little Hans had a fascination with his "widdler" (what four year old boy doesn't love touching his penis?!) and he seemed to be extraordinarily 'attached' to his mother, viewing his father as a rival for momma's affections.  The fear of his father was expressed in Little Hans' phobia of horses, so the interpretation went. All of this story telling had my kids in fits of giggles for a week.

THEY LOVED IT.

So much so, they wanted to do a project on Freud for "Project Week" to present to all of the Grade 10's on what cool and interesting things they were learning in Psychology.  I gave them free reign. 

Their projects were incredible, and one group placed 2nd of ALL projects presented- so take THAT, Science, Math, Engineering/Technology, and English!!!

These girls bravely retold the Little Hans story, down to Hans'
mother threatening to "call the Dr. to come cut off his
widdler" if he did not stop touching it.  I was rolling and
dying inside as I watched the expressions of other teachers
and students trying to grasp, "WHAT did she just say???"
Their cute illustrations clearly told the whole story.
It was a proud moment for this psychology teacher :)))

These girls tackled "Dream Interpretation", explaining
'manifest content' and 'latent content' to their audience.

These girls eloquently described Little Hans "giraffe dream"
which Freud saw as evidence of the phallic stage that he
was sexually attracted to his mother. Little Hans only wanted to
'get with his momma' in the parent's bed with 'the big giraffe'
 (daddy) gone from the bedroom.
Say WHAT???  Watching the other student's and
teacher's faces was priceless.  And freakin' hilarious!

This group performed a skit acting out the
twelve defense mechanisms.  Here we have
'regression' to id impulses in the face of stress
or anxiety.  Just like my "Prince" next door.

I didn't get photos of them all, but these
Chinese babies did their teacher proud with
their knowledge of Freud and psychology
during Project Week.

And the realllllyyyy good news is I didn't get called in to the principal's office :))))

G'nite, y'all!

Day 431 Tis the season....for shopping.

The holiday season is officially underway, even in the 'jing!
There's always something happening in a city of 23+ million
people, and the best way to stay in the loop is to subscribe to
several sites on WeChat.  The Beijinger published a calendar of
Holiday Craft Bazaars that are happening in the coming
weeks.  This reminds me of the days of going to bazaars
with my bff, Susan, which was way too many moons ago.
This year, I was joined by my Beijing bff, Jeanette :)

It was naturally an hours + subway trek to the
northeast side of town, but it was oh so worth it.
Why, you ask?!  Because it was held in a German
restaurant and bar, and I was greeted with
fabulous German pastries the minute I walked in!
I naturally dropped the first bit of $$ there :)

I met this sweet girl who makes custom jewelry.  She is just
25 years old, and set out for Beijing on her own six years
ago.  She is now fluent in Mandarin, and is quite successful.
What a brave girl to take on China at 19 years old :)

We poured over many crafters tables selling
everything from bracelets and bangles, to
totebags, bagels, knitted caps, raw honey,
hand crafted beer and wine, and cilantro pesto.
Yep, you read that right- cilantro pesto. I was
assured it tastes fabulous.  Don't get me wrong;
I like cilantro- but a little cilantro goes a long way.

I scored an actual ginko leaf that was made into a
charm for my necklace.  I am so happy to have a
'special something' from China to go with my other
special charms.... a pearl from my daughter Ellie,
a ship's wheel from my sailing adventures, a dolphin
from the Dolphin Research Center in the Florida Keys
and a cross from my special someone. It is often the
littlest of things that makes me the happiest :)

Loaded up with the first round of Christmas shopping
purchases, we opted for a cab to get to our next
Christmas shopping destination- the Pearl Market :)
Yep, it was a sh***y air day, that had only gotten
worse since we left the apartment that morning.

How sh***y was it, you ask? Almost
chewable air- 369 city wide, and a
whopping 480 at the US Embassy.
That's a red alert, severely polluted,
if you have chronic health conditions
DO NOT GO OUTSIDE kind of day.

Even though the bad air is clearly hazardous to your
physical health, sometimes your mental health
requires you to simply "mask up" and head out
anyhow. A little retail therapy can be a good thing, right?
Behind the masks L to R is Jeanette, Kathy, me, and Kirsten.

Kathy drives a hard bargain at the Pearl Market- it is so
funny to watch her in action, lol.  Jeanette got to put her four
hour a week Mandarin lessons to good use, scoring on
several pairs of UGG boots and TOMS shoes.  But, none
of us were letting Kirsten out alive until she purchased
a new purse- she eventually gave in- then so did I :)

Of course, we all made a new Chinese "friend" in the process, too!

I spent my Saturday evening pouring over my packages and sorting out my Christmas shopping lists. I had plenty to keep myself busy and entertained the rest of the weekend, as the air never did clear up. My air purifiers have been hard at work many times this fall, and by Sunday evening I decided it was time to check on them. Oh. my. goodness. gracious. They were B L A C K.  Disgusting.  Tomorrow's

to do list?  Get a Chinese colleague to help me order replacement filters, and find out how to get these Christmas presents air mailed home to the States.  Even the simplest of chores, errands, or tasks can somehow get all the more complicated in the China.  I'd better make sure my phone is charged up for the translator app, and I need to sharpen my skills at charades. My fingers are crossed, and I remain hopeful...stay tuned.

G'nite y'all!

Day 438 They spent how much???

$91,200,000,000 rmb  

or

$14,300,000,000 USD

That is how much was spent, online, in 24 hours, in China, on the Alibaba website, on 11/11/2015.

That is a s**t ton of money and merchandise dropped in one day, y'all.  I mean really, it beats our Black Friday or Cyber Monday sales all to h**l!

Some days I continue to be blown away by the sheer number of Chinese who live in this country. 1.3 billion of them gladly dropped 14.3 billion US dollars in one 24 hour period. 10 million transactions were completed online before 10 am.  Unreal.

What's the occasion?!

A group of four single Chinese college students decided that Singles needed a day to celebrate, kind of like an "un-Valentine's day", if you will.  They chose 11/11 as their special day, to represent the four single friends.  They treated themselves to gifts and fancy dinners and flowers, and celebrated their singlehood.  Their friends caught on and thought it was a great idea.  This was in 2009.

Five years later, on 11/11/14, China spent the equivalent of 9.3 billion USD in one 24 hour period.

One of my students showed me this image on his
phone.  It was sent out over Chinese social media
 last year after it was announced that the total
sales for 11/11/14 was nearly 59,600,000,000 rmb.
(that's $9.3 BILLION, people!)

That figure was surpassed just 12 hours in to the sale earlier this week.  

And if these sheer numbers don't blow your mind (my mind is shot; I can't even comprehend numbers this big!) consider this....

How does all of that merchandise get delivered to the customers?

"Alibaba said its logistical arm and its partners would use more than 1.7 million personnel, 400,000 vehicles, 5,000 warehouses, and 200 airplanes to handle the deliveries."

This means the streets will be jammed even
 further with these delivery pedal carts.
lining the streets and sidewalks.  

It would seem that Consumerism and *****nism are getting along swimmingly.

Personally, my head is swimming with the sheer numbers it is trying to process.

G'nite,  y'all!

Day 433-434 Newbies to Tianjin

On Friday, November 6th, we had our first snowfall of the
season.  It is so dry in Beijing (the Gobi Desert is just on the other
side of the mountains) that snow is a bit of a rarity here.  It
put it down for several hours that morning.  Besides the fact that
I HATE to be cold, I was more concerned about the weekend
trip I had planned the minute school let out.  I was taking a
group of teachers to Tianjin on the high speed train.  The
last thing I wanted was to be tromping around playing tour guide
in the freezing cold; I was still trying to get over a cold myself.

It took five cabs to get the whole lot of us to our
hotel, the Holiday Inn Riverside, which is right next
to the Tianjin Eye.  Seeing the excited expressions of
my colleagues at their first look of this beautiful city,
I knew that cold or not, it was going to be a FUN weekend.

With everyone checked into their rooms, (I mean, really,
can you beat that view of the river walk?!) we ventured
out in five more cabs for our late dinner reservations at
Pizza Bianca.  They were in for a treat :)

The wait staff took extra good care of us, bringing out all kinds
of tasty Italian treats for us to enjoy- at no charge!

One of our newbies, Bradley and his beautiful wife Moe.

Ganbei!  (Cheers in Mandarin :)

We had a great group of people along for the trip, newbies,
some returning teachers and several family members.

I love these two :)

After sleeping in and enjoying a leisurely breakfast that was 
included with our hotel room, we ventured out in to the cold.

It was cold and raining- the worst for me :(

Our first stop was the Dabei Buddhist Temple, which was
conveniently located right behind our hotel. 

It is a beautiful monastery, and it quite the deal, only 5rmb
to visit the grounds- that's about 85 cents.

There are marble miniature Buddha statues all
over the grounds, offering well wishes.

Mostly they are there to remind visitors to
speak in a whisper, as there are people
who are there to worship.

It was fun watching these folks trying to toss coins

into the tower for good luck- their aim was not so good!

It was a little on the chilly side...

Still, this Buddha was just chillin'

`

Beautiful

I am always in awe of the beautiful marble carvings, on
staircases, vases, monuments and statues. Such detail.

These two lovelies, Rici our Spanish teacher, and Jade
our Scottish lass who teaches PE.  I <3 them both.

Turn teachers loose on a 'field trip', and they get silly, too :)

As we left the temple, we walked through a market place
for some early Christmas shopping on our way to the Eye.

Carlos has an eye for photography.  Love this.

The 'warning label' for riding the Tianjin Eye- in Chinglish!
We all could benefit from the 'scenic area civilized tips', lol.

I am very blessed to work with some awesome teachers and
school counselors from all over the world.  All in all, Beijing
National Day School does a great job in hiring quality people :)

I wish the weather had cooperated more :/ It's a beautiful city.

At the top!

From the Eye, we headed up the river walk toward the
Chinese Culture Street for more street food and shopping.
There is a carved marble wall that tells a pictorial history of Tianjin.

There are five distinct bridges that cross the river in to various
neighborhoods and the CBD.  It is called Five Avenues.

Zach and San are the sons of two of our faculty.  It was fun
hanging with boys again; I miss my grandkids Ava & Eli.

We walked through the Ancient Culture Street
which is a good place for browsing all things
Chinese.  There is a small temple there
from the Qing dynasty, and it is typically
packed with tourists- not on this cold, rainy day.

As we exited the Gu Wenhua Jie, many loaded with packages
of local art ware, silks, kites and such, we passed by Xikai Church
which marks the French Concession area.  The church was built with
bricks from France and was completed in 1916. While it is an active
People's Catholic Church, it also is a war museum of sorts with
several monuments, and even a tank in the courtyard of the church.

We crossed another bridge, and entered the Italian concession.
In many ways, Tianjin looks like you could be in Europe, not China.

At the end of the bridge, we were greeted by
another Christian church. In fact, within viewing
distance there were four churches- in a largely
agnostic country- though some here practice Buddhism.

Next was the very fancy, very ornate Marco Polo bridge,
which again, looks like you are somewhere in Italy or France.
This marks the entry to both the Italian and German concession. 

When I reach the clock tower, I know there are brats
and beer in my near future- though I pass on the beer.

This is a beautiful (but crowded) area to sit in an outdoor cafe, enjoy
a glass of wine, and people watch in the spring and summer months.

We opted to eat indoors at my favorite German restaurant, Bavaria Brauhaus. 

Most of the group opted to cab it back to the hotel for a night
cap, but Damien and I decided to walk off dinner to see the
churches and river walk at night. It was cold, but no longer raining.

The river walk comes alive in the evenings with dinner cruises,
street performers, and people sending paper lanterns in the air
and lighting giant sparklers, like Ms. Rici :)

Soon it was time to head back to the train station for the
quick trip home.  I met three Chinese men who were all
carrying instrument cases.  I saw that they said Bach, so I
asked if they were trumpets.  Lo and behold, they were!
They became very excited when I told them their instruments
came from my hometown in Elkhart, Indiana.  Not one of
them played the trumpet. They received them as "corporate
gifts" from a business meeting they attended- strange gift.
They insisted I play something for them.  People, it's been
over 25 years since I've held a trumpet, but I still could run
the scales, and hit a high A. I missed the high C by two notes.
But man, I thought I was going to blow a gasket! It was
so much fun- and they of course had to have lots of pictures
and videos made with me while we waited for our train.

After spending the entire day touring in the cold outdoors,
it was a quiet ride home to Beijing....zzzzzzz......

Which took all of 30 minutes at 302km/hr!  I love
the high speed trains in China- it's a smooth ride and
oh so cheap- only $9.00USD each way from PEK to Tianjin.
No doubt, I'll be returning again soon :)

G'nite, y'all!